IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans are facing in the 21st century and sea level is continuing to rise at alarming rates. What are the causes and some possible solutions to global warming?

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Nowadays, one of the biggest people's
concern
Fix the agreement mistake
concerns
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 is
the
Correct article usage
apply
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global warming and
growing
Correct article usage
the growing
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of
Change preposition
apply
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sea
Use synonyms
level
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levels
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 at
warning
Correct article usage
a warning
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level
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is mostly because of the way how humanity gains electricity. Causes and possible methods to tackle
this
Linking Words
 issue will be given in the following paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, despite the fact that
technology
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technological
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 progress
have
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has
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 gradually accelerated in recent years, big corporations and
goverment
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government
governments
 are still using traditional ways of obtaining electricity. To illustrate,
major
Correct article usage
a major
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chunck
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chunk
 of all
elecricity
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electricity
 and heat are
comming
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coming
 from
process
Add an article
the process
a process
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 of burning coal, gases and fossil fuels,
while
Linking Words
 renewable
sources
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 are exploited significantly less.
Consequently
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,
this
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 causes global emissions which
aggrovates
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aggravates
aggravated
situation
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the situation
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 with global warming and sea
level
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.
Nevertheless
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, there are certain ways to deal with
this
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 trouble, since science already investigated methods to move to
environmental
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environmentally
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 friendly
sources
Use synonyms
 of energy,
such
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 as sun batteries, wind power etc.
Moreover
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,
Linking Words
this
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these
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 tactics are
also
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 can be beneficial for
Correct article usage
the goverment
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goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 as renewable
sources
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 are cheap,
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that it does not require endless
suply
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supply
 of minerals and workers who will control
process
Correct article usage
the process
show examples
 of burning.
For instance
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, collecting solar power through the sun batteries is bordered only by cloudy weather, so
in
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at
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 other
time
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times
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 it just converts
sun light
Correct your spelling
sunlight
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 into
a
Remove the article
apply
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usable electricity.
To conclude
Linking Words
, global
warmth
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warming
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 is a serious issue nowadays, that
occur
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occurs
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 because of heat and emissions that
comes
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come
show examples
 from
hazardous
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the hazardous
a hazardous
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 process of burning minerals.
Hence
Linking Words
, if people move to
environmental
Change the adjective
environmentally
show examples
 friendly
sources
Use synonyms
,
Add an article
the problem
a problem
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problem
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problems
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 with world warmth and
rising
Correct article usage
the rising
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sea
Use synonyms
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
 will reduce or even
dissapear
Correct your spelling
disappear
.

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the causes and solutions of global warming and sea-level rise. However, to achieve a higher score, consider expanding the discussion of causes and providing more detailed examples for each point.
task achievement
Make sure to carefully proofread your work to correct minor spelling and grammatical errors (e.g., 'major chunk,' 'coming,' 'aggravates,' 'government,' 'sunlight,' 'warmth'). Consistent accuracy will enhance your essay's clarity.
coherence cohesion
Your essay needs to flow more smoothly between points. Use more linking devices and transitional phrases to enhance coherence (e.g., 'Furthermore,' 'Additionally,' 'Moreover').
coherence cohesion
While you used paragraphs to organize your essay, ensure each paragraph transitions naturally to the next. This will improve readability and logical structure.
task achievement
Provide specific examples and elaborate on your points. For example, mentioning specific government policies or successful renewable energy projects could strengthen your argument.
introduction conclusion
Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, summarizing the main points effectively.
task achievement
You identified both causes and solutions to global warming, showing a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
supported main points
The use of renewable energy sources as a solution is well-explained and relevant.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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