IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Will see homeless people in the society, few people support them with food and money and few are against. What is your opinion on this.

#people #society #support #food #money
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, the number of stateless
people
Use synonyms
 is increasing in the community and some families are giving them food and
money
Use synonyms
 to help them,
while
Linking Words
others
Use synonyms
 are against them. I completely disagree with the first view because most homeless if they get
money
Use synonyms
 and amenities from
others
Use synonyms
 don't go to look for jobs for them.
In addition
Linking Words
, the government should keep a role that allows homeless
people
Use synonyms
 not to take anything from
people
Use synonyms
. To start with, the first reason is that homeless
people
Use synonyms
 don't go to look for jobs for them as opposed they going to crowded places to get support from
others
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, In Oman, homeless
people
Use synonyms
 go to the shopping areas and take
money
Use synonyms
 and food
then
Linking Words
 go to sleep.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the second reason is that stateless
people
Use synonyms
 deceive
others
Use synonyms
 to take
money
Use synonyms
 from them. To explain, most of the homeless
people
Use synonyms
 are rich but they like to take
money
Use synonyms
 from
others
Use synonyms
 which is an illegal action.
For example
Linking Words
, because of the wider spread of these
people
Use synonyms
 especially in the mosques and shopping areas the government made the role that any stateless do
this
Linking Words
 action would be them to prison in Oman.
To sum up
Linking Words
, I believe that the government should make a role for homeless
people
Use synonyms
 to don't take anything from other
people
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by alharrasialanood7 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

relevant specific examples
Make sure to provide more examples and supporting evidence for your points. This will strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on creating more complex and varied sentence structures to enhance readability and fluidity. This will improve the overall coherence of your essay.
logical structure
Clarify your arguments to make them more specific and direct. This includes rephrasing some sentences to reduce ambiguity or misinterpretation.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which help frame the topic and summarize your points effectively.
logical structure
You have maintained a logical structure throughout your essay, with each paragraph addressing a distinct point.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: