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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table shows data about the average income for one person in dollars, across two different age groups: under 18 and over 60, as well as the percentage of the poor population in three states in the US, namely California, Utah, and Florida

The table shows data about the average income for one person in dollars, across two different age groups: under 18 and over 60, as well as the percentage of the poor population in three states in the US, namely California, Utah, and Florida
#data #income #person #dollars #two #age #groups #percentage #population #three #states #california #utah #florida
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The table gives information about
mid-rage
Correct article usage
the mid-rage
show examples
 of
profit
Fix the agreement mistake
profits
show examples
that earn
Wrong verb form
earned
show examples
 by
people
Use synonyms
 in their 18 and 60 in three US
statse
Correct your spelling
states
state
California
Use synonyms
, Utah and Florida. There is
also
Linking Words
 additional information about individuals who live in
poverty
Use synonyms
 in
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 cities.
Overall
Linking Words
 it can be seen that
California
Use synonyms
 has
great
Correct article usage
a great
show examples
 balance in the cases of percentages of
age
Use synonyms
 group and high profits,
while
Linking Words
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two had
Correct article usage
an inbalance
show examples
inbalance
Correct your spelling
imbalance
show examples
 in their average portion of population in both
age
Use synonyms
 groups ,but they can be proud
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their
less
Correct word choice
lower
show examples
poverty
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
between
show examples
Use synonyms
Add an article
the age
show examples
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
 of 18 and 60
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 almost perfect balance in the state of
California
Use synonyms
 about 17 % and 13 % respectively. Residents in Utah
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
huge
Add an article
a huge
show examples
 difference in
age
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 about 28% of young
people
Use synonyms
 and 8%
elder
Change preposition
of elder
show examples
people
Use synonyms
.
In
Linking Words
contrast
Add a comma
contrast,
show examples
 there are more
people
Use synonyms
 over
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
60 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Florida and 16%
Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 under
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
18.
IN
Correct your spelling
In
show examples
 the case of income
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
higher
Add a missing verb
is higher
show examples
 income in the state of
California
Use synonyms
 about 23.000 $, but
also
Linking Words
 with
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
poverty
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
about
Change preposition
of about
show examples
 16
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. Low income and low
Use synonyms
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
show examples
 of
poverty
Use synonyms
 can be seen in the state of Utah.
Submitted by Teo Halimov on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, california, poverty, age, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 6 times.
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