Scientists believe that computers will become more intelligent than hunam beings. Some people find it is a positive trend while others think it is a negative development. Discuss both points and give your own opinion.

#scientists #computers #hunam #beings #people #trend #development #points

In the upcoming cutting-edge era, technical experts assert that technological gadgets will attain higher intelligence levels as compared to mankind. For

this

notion, everyone has different perspectives, some opine it's beneficial

while

others are against the viewpoint,

however

, I personally believe it's extremely devastating for humans. On the one hand, technology is developing at an intense rate with the passage of every single day,

hence

the improvements in Artificial Intelligence achieved

the

Correct article usage

show examples

top-notch level and introduced ample advantages to different entrepreneurs in the field of high productivity and low cost since the involvement of manpower will no longer be needed and without offering any incentives or health benefits one can earn more than their estimates in the business.

For example

, if

hundred

Correct article usage

a hundred

show examples

factory workers are required in any kind of single industry with management and supervision roles as well, one or two robots will be more than sufficient in future to complete the work.

Consequently

, the company owners need a low budget only to start their businesses.

On the other hand

, the drawbacks of computerization can not be neglected in the community. First and foremost, it will indirectly

downs

Verb problem

drop

show examples

the economic budget of countries as it will impact the employment rate adversely by taking positions of adequate workers,

then

the more people without jobs put pressure on the government services and the higher authorities have to tackle fulfilling rudimentary needs of inhabitants.

Adding

Wrong verb form

Additionally

show examples

further

, as computers are without emotions,

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

will not only deteriorate the lives of human beings but

also

the entire ecosystem with harmful rays of electronic gadgets,

as a result

, the whole world will be under severe threat with the advancements in technology. In conclusion,

although

improvements are beneficial to some extent to our whole globe, enormous bad effects will destroy the earth eventually and no more lives will be available to take advantage of the computer mind and

effecting

Verb problem

affect

show examples

badly at an alarming rate.

Submitted by BUTTAR on Sun Jul 28 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that the progression of ideas is logical within and between paragraphs. Transition words can help guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly. For instance, using phrases like 'On the other hand' correctly can provide a better flow.

task achievement

Expand on specific examples that reinforce your points. For example, your assertion about robots replacing workers in factories could be supported with more detailed and diverse examples to strengthen your argument.

task achievement

Try to develop your argument further by discussing counterarguments or alternative perspectives, which can demonstrate a more comprehensive understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

Watch out for minor grammatical errors and redundancies. For example, the phrase 'impact the employment rate adversely by taking positions of adequate workers' could be clearer if rephrased to 'adversely impact employment by replacing human workers'.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are clearly present, providing a sound opening and closing structure to your essay.

task achievement

You provide a balanced view by addressing both sides of the argument, which is crucial in a discussion essay like this.

task achievement

The use of specific examples, such as the factory workers vs. robots scenario, helps to illustrate your points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

318 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Scientists believe that computers will become more intelligent than hunam beings. Some people find it is a positive trend while others think it is a negative development. Discuss both points and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

To solve the problem of environmental pollution we need to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What problems is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this situation?

Some people think that social media platforms are useful for business and making new friends, while others think that such websites are harmful. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of social media.

Some parents are worried about the increasing level of violence in tv, video games and other type of entertainment for children's leisure. How does this effect children? How do you think problem can be tackles?

In many countries, students take a year gap after finishing school and work or travel during this period. Should students take a gap year before attending universities? What are the advantages and disadvantages of it?