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Scientists believe that computers will become more intelligent than hunam beings. Some people find it is a positive trend while others think it is a negative development. Discuss both points and give your own opinion.

#scientists #computers #hunam #beings #people #trend #development #points
In the upcoming cutting-edge era, technical experts assert that technological gadgets will attain higher intelligence levels as compared to mankind. For
this
 notion, everyone has different perspectives, some opine it's beneficial
while
 others are against the viewpoint,
however
, I personally believe it's extremely devastating for humans. On the one hand, technology is developing at an intense rate with the passage of every single day,
hence
 the improvements in Artificial Intelligence achieved
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 top-notch level and introduced ample advantages to different entrepreneurs in the field of high productivity and low cost since the involvement of manpower will no longer be needed and without offering any incentives or health benefits one can earn more than their estimates in the business.
For example
, if
hundred
Correct article usage
a hundred
show examples
 factory workers are required in any kind of single industry with management and supervision roles as well, one or two robots will be more than sufficient in future to complete the work.
Consequently
, the company owners need a low budget only to start their businesses.
On the other hand
, the drawbacks of computerization can not be neglected in the community. First and foremost, it will indirectly
downs
Verb problem
drop
show examples
 the economic budget of countries as it will impact the employment rate adversely by taking positions of adequate workers,
then
 the more people without jobs put pressure on the government services and the higher authorities have to tackle fulfilling rudimentary needs of inhabitants.
Adding
Wrong verb form
Additionally
show examples
further
, as computers are without emotions,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 will not only deteriorate the lives of human beings but
also
 the entire ecosystem with harmful rays of electronic gadgets,
as a result
, the whole world will be under severe threat with the advancements in technology. In conclusion,
although
 improvements are beneficial to some extent to our whole globe, enormous bad effects will destroy the earth eventually and no more lives will be available to take advantage of the computer mind and
effecting
Verb problem
affect
show examples
 badly at an alarming rate.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that the progression of ideas is logical within and between paragraphs. Transition words can help guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly. For instance, using phrases like 'On the other hand' correctly can provide a better flow.
task achievement
Expand on specific examples that reinforce your points. For example, your assertion about robots replacing workers in factories could be supported with more detailed and diverse examples to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Try to develop your argument further by discussing counterarguments or alternative perspectives, which can demonstrate a more comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Watch out for minor grammatical errors and redundancies. For example, the phrase 'impact the employment rate adversely by taking positions of adequate workers' could be clearer if rephrased to 'adversely impact employment by replacing human workers'.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly present, providing a sound opening and closing structure to your essay.
task achievement
You provide a balanced view by addressing both sides of the argument, which is crucial in a discussion essay like this.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, such as the factory workers vs. robots scenario, helps to illustrate your points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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