Some people say full time students should spend most of time studying; others believe that they should do other activities as well.To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

According to
many individuals,
school going
Add a hyphen
school-going
show examples
people should fully concentrate towards their
studies
while
others think leisure things should
also
be done by them. I fully agree that
students
should not only concentrate towards
studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies
show examples
but
also
take part in other
activities
. The first and foremost reason for
children
to take part in social
activities
is, it helps to freshen up their minds which
as a result
helps
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
grasp more knowledge. These
children
should plan
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to watch movies,
visiting
Wrong verb form
visit
show examples
new places, having
adventure
Fix the agreement mistake
adventures
show examples
with their friends. To exemplify, a study done by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Harvard University suggested that people who are publicly active have more knowledge and get better grades compared to
students
who spend more time in a room studying.
Hence
, spending time with friends plays a major role towards
studies
.
Secondly
,
activities
such
as sports
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
to maintain the physical fitness of
children
. As there is a saying "
Health
is Wealth",
students
will only be able to focus towards
thier
Correct your spelling
their
studies
only if their
health
is in good condition.
For instance
, Kiran Bedi, an IAS officer of Mumbai is a marathon runner, she maintains her physical fitness
aslo
Correct your spelling
and
in an interview she mentioned she was able to study because her
health
never got worse.
Therefore
, physical
health
is important for
full time
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
students
.
To conclude
, social gatherings and sports play a vital role in
children
's lives. These
activities
help
students
boost their memory grasping skills
as well as
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
to maintain their
health
which
also
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
them to remain
stress free
Add a hyphen
stress-free
show examples
and maintain more focus towards their
studies
.
Submitted by sandip.princess on

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task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the task by presenting both viewpoints and clearly aligning with one. However, make sure to maintain uniform details in the introduction to accurately represent the overall opinion expressed through the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are coherent and generally well-connected. Nonetheless, strive to achieve a logical flow in your paragraphs by using more transitional phrases.
task achievement
Avoid minor grammatical errors and improve the accuracy of phrases; this can boost clarity and ensure that your ideas are more comprehensible.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly presents the two perspectives and your own stance.
task achievement
The examples provided are relevant and convincingly support the main points.
coherence cohesion
The essay is structured, with distinct introduction and conclusion sections, making it easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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