More people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people think that the government should increase the price of fattening foods to address this issue. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #government #price #foods #address

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Due to

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the significant consumption of fatty

foods

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on the increase, more

people

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are suffering from overweight issues, or worse, obesity. Some believe that the

government

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should intervene

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the price of fattening

foods

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to discourage

people

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from consuming and tackle

this

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issue.

While

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acknowledging the reasons behind

this

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, I argue that

this

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strategy might put a financial burden on underprivileged individuals and be inadequate to address the problem. Admittedly, it is justifiable why some advocate the idea of raising

those

Correct determiner usage

apply

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unhealthy

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foods

Change the noun form

food

show examples

prices

Use synonyms

to tackle the overweight issue. The key rationale is that heightening fattening

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foods’

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foods

show examples

prices

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will persuade consumers to reduce the amount of unhealthy

foods

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intake since it will be less affordable to a particular group of

people

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such

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as middle or under-average-income earners.

This

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means that the risk of obesity or abundant weight would decrease as individuals have to switch to other options.

However

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such

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a scenario would not happen since fast food is a form of fattening food. Because of its convenience and appetising, the target customer groups are students and full-time workers, which means that it would be time-saving for them rather than preparing meals at home.

Furthermore

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, not only may

this

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solution have

meager

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meagre

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positive impacts on

health’s

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health

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issues but

also

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spell trouble for the

businesses

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business's

businesses'

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finances.

Therefore

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, the belief in higher

prices

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of unhealthy

foods

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seems to worsen other aspects of society.

Therefore

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, I believe that there are other measures that prove more effective than

this

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intervention that the

government

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could do.

First,

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the

government

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could mount more campaigns to raise awareness among the public about the drawbacks of over-consuming fatten

foods

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. Once

people

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are aware of these consequences, they will proactively lower their consumption.

Otherwise

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, the

government

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could make subsidies on high-nutritional

foods

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as an encouragement for buyers to positively consume.

Such

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a concern on

prices

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of healthy

foods

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that they tend to charge higher

prices

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than others,

therefore

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, subsidies will effectively reduce the price and be more affordable to

people

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from different socio-economic backgrounds. Compared to raising fattening

foods

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’

prices

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, those solutions tend to be more sustainable in addressing obesity and overweight issues. In conclusion, I would contend that an increase in the price of fatty

foods

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should be collaborated with other approaches in order to deal with the aforementioned problems.

Submitted by kkhanhnhitr0801 on Sun Jul 28 2024

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task achievement

Using varied vocabulary and sentence structures can add more clarity and depth to your essay, making your ideas stand out more effectively.

coherence cohesion

Ensure a smooth flow of ideas by using a greater range of connective words and devices. This will enhance the clarity and coherence of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Streamlining your paragraphs to ensure each one focuses on a single point or idea can enhance the coherence of your essay.

coherence cohesion

You've presented a clear and organized structure, guiding the reader from one point to the next.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are both clear and align well with the main points discussed in the essay, providing a strong overall framework.

task achievement

You provide a well-rounded response, addressing multiple facets of the issue at hand. This shows a deep understanding of the topic.

task achievement

Your essay demonstrates clear and comprehensive ideas with a balanced examination of both perspectives.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

381 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

fattening foods
obesity epidemic
public health
government intervention
taxation policy
price elasticity
consumer behavior
socioeconomic impact
nutritional education
lifestyle changes
healthier alternatives
balanced diet
financial incentives
eating habits

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More people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people think that the government should increase the price of fattening foods to address this issue. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

Today,more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult,such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic.What are the benefits and disadvantages for people who visit such places?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case ? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Many countries have embraced tourism as a way to boost their economies and create local jobs for local residents. Some argue that tourism can have negative impacts on the environment and cultures. What are the advantages and disadvantages of tourism for a country?

Robots and AI are being developed to replace humans in the workplace. Why is this happen? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?

There are many extinct animal species in the world. Some people think we should protect animals from dying out, while others believe we should spend more time on problems of human beings. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.