Today, more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara Desert or the Antartic. What are benefits or disadvantages for tourists visiting such places?
Recently, the number of tourists who are coming to
places
where surroundings are challenging has increased, especially hot and cold places
such
as the Sahara Desert and the North Pole, the Antarctic. The benefits of this
travel
are to explore, get an impression of nature, and see breathtaking scenery. Being under
danger and the limitation of supplies are the drawbacks. It is becoming more and more popular to visit uncommon Change preposition
in
places
among the
tourists because a great deal of them are interested in exploring, want to see a beautiful view, and Correct article usage
apply
also
take impressions about the environment. Why do travel
numbers grow up year by year? Even all the scenery passed through social media is not pleasurable, and they do not provide feelings such
as adrenalin and a feeling of nature. Another case is to try to surround as well as
to learn what technologies can help a place based on ad condition. For example
, a person in Britain called Josef Henrik has a travel
blog on Instagram, and he often visits mountains and places
covered with snow to have
more knowledge about Verb problem
gain
places
and give advice to other mature vacationers. Other contrasts for this
kind of trip are that there are no supplies and danger. Some of them die this
way because of not being able to survive and a lack of shortages in food and essential equipment. Most places
are
not discovered yet, so Verb problem
have
the
adventure voyagers pay attention to all things and situations Correct article usage
apply
in
there. Change preposition
apply
Furthermore
, extreme conditions in these areas can pose a significant risk. For instance
, the Sahara has scorching temperatures, while
the Antarctic offers little margin for error and is far from help. A person who
I mentioned above always says that if you have no experience or cannot defend yourself, Change the pronoun
whom
such
as in the Antarctic and mountains, you are in danger. Overall
, while
it has Correct word choice
apply
Add an article
a benefit
benefit
for Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
travelers
to get or know about inconvenient Change the spelling
travellers
travel
spots like the Sahara Desert and the South Pole. And several dangerous aspects are considered to be bad for visitors.Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the question and covers both benefits and disadvantages of visiting places with difficult conditions. However, it could be more structured to clearly differentiate between each point.
task achievement
Try to stay focused on the topic throughout the essay. The paragraph about Josef Henrik could be more specific in showing how his experiences reflect the benefits or disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
Improve the overall logical flow of the essay. Some parts seem disconnected, and transitions can be smoother. For instance, the contrast between the benefits and disadvantages should be clearer.
coherence cohesion
Divide paragraphs more effectively. Avoid large blocks of text to enhance readability. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea and be clearly linked to the next.
task achievement
Your essay management and handling of the question are good. The reader is able to understand the main points you are making.
task achievement
You have successfully mentioned both sides – benefits and disadvantages of visiting challenging places, which shows a balanced approach.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction gives a clear idea of the topic and sets up the essay well. The conclusion also summarizes your thoughts effectively.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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