In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and dis advantages of giving children this message?

#cultures #children #dis #message

In several cultures,

children

are frequently told that they can achieve anything if they work hard for it. It is more like a

doctrin

Correct your spelling

doctor

to the

children

so they will always give the best they can do to pursue their

dream

However

world

Add an article

the world

show examples

does not work like

this

. There are some conditions

which

Change preposition

in which

show examples

people have

been try

Wrong verb form

tried

show examples

anything but still fail. It is

such

a good thing if the parents want their kids to give 100 per cent in

eveything

Correct your spelling

everything

they do. It will

stimulates

Change the verb form

stimulate

show examples

the

children

to not easily give up

for

Change preposition

show examples

their

Change the word

the

show examples

dream

that they are striving for. By having

this

mindset, it will

creates

Change the verb form

create

show examples

a child who

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

ambitions and purposes in life. To illustrate, my brother

want

Change the verb form

wants

show examples

to get

grade

Correct article usage

an grade

show examples

A+ on math subjects yet he

does

Verb problem

show examples

not good at math. Since he has

this

spirit, he

willing

Add a missing verb

is willing

show examples

to study seriously and

using

Wrong verb form

use

show examples

his free time to learn. So, it has

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

impacts

Fix the agreement mistake

impact

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

developments

Fix the agreement mistake

development

show examples

and growth when facing struggles. On the other sides, it

can

Rephrase

cannot

show examples

be denied that everything

Verb problem

does

show examples

not always work as we want. There are some cases

which

Change preposition

in which

show examples

we failed even though we already tried our best.

For instance

, my friend had

this

kind of thought.

Everytime

Replace the word

Every time

show examples

she failed, she

try

Wrong verb form

tried

show examples

harder and harder. Eventually, she

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

still can not gain her

dream

. Everyone told her about

this

but no one said that we can not always achieve our

dream

To conclude

, the

disadvantage

Fix the agreement mistake

disadvantages

show examples

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

outweigh

than

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

advantage

Fix the agreement mistake

advantages

show examples

because

this

thought will shape a bad mentality for people who

Change the verb form

are

show examples

trying to

get

Verb problem

achieve

show examples

their

dream

Fix the agreement mistake

dreams

show examples

In other words

, people have to know their

limit

Fix the agreement mistake

limits

show examples

and it is totally fine to fail.

Submitted by wishmeluck on Sun Jul 28 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Grammar

Make sure to use consistent verb tenses throughout your essay. For example, "create" should be "creates" and "try" should be "tries."

Structure

Make your introduction and conclusion more concise to clearly set up and wrap up the main points of your essay.

Examples/Development

Expand on your examples to clearly show how they support your main points. For instance, explain the consequences for your friend who kept trying but still failed.

Content

The essay presents a balanced view by discussing both advantages and disadvantages.

Examples

Personal examples are used to illustrate points, which can make the argument more relatable.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

281 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?
Smoking has been banned in public places like parks, hospitals and restaurants in many nations, and it is a law that many people support. I agree with this initiative because it will reduce the impact of passive smoking and also encourage people to quit smoking.
7
band
Some people believe that children should study all subjects at school, while others think they should only study subjects they are good at or find interesting. Discuss both views and give your opinion
The topic of which subjects should offspring learn at school is controversial. While some hold that children ought to study all fields, others believe they merely need to focus on lessons they are good at or interested in. This essay intends to analyse both notions and explain why I am in favour of the former.
6.5
band
Of late, it is believed that students studying in secondary school and high school should be taught how to manage money as it is an important life skill. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this argument? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays, some people think that students learn how to manage money as it is an important life skill from secondary and high school. If they know about these things, then they can easily manage. I agree with this statement and I will explain the reason in this essay.
4.5
band
Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
With today’s rapid changes, there are abundances of opportunities for people to work abroad. Some people argue that for experts like doctors and engineers, it is necessary pursue career in the country where they obtained their education. Others think that they should have given options to have a job wherever they want to. While some people argue that experts should not work abroad, I side with those who feel that it is acceptable to work in other countries that they prefer.
7
band
Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara Desert or the Antarctic. What are the Advantages and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?
the conventional model of visiting ordinary sites has commenced shifting, with a growing number of visitors opting for travelling to tough condition destinations like the Sahara Desert, the Antarctic or even Everest Mountain, a trend popular in the world of tourism. in this regard, this choice offers them some merits as well as brings them some troubles. in this essay, I will inspect the both positives and negatives brought about by this trend.

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and dis advantages of giving children this message?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that children should study all subjects at school, while others think they should only study subjects they are good at or find interesting. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara Desert or the Antarctic. What are the Advantages and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?