Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Mobile phones, one of the most useful technological devices,
has
significantly changed humankind's lives. People from all social classes nowadays rely on their Correct subject-verb agreement
have
phone
in order to make their lives easier. Fix the agreement mistake
phones
Not to mention
many students
and children utilize their gadget
for self-learning activities. Fix the agreement mistake
gadgets
However
, the author argue
that there are some places where children should take a distance from the phones, one of them is Change the verb form
argues
school
.
The first reason behind my argument is school
represents the finest place for student
to physically interact Fix the agreement mistake
students
each
other. Children, particularly for elementary and junior high Change preposition
with each
school
ages, are still in the growth period. At this
stage, their physchological
and mental capacity Correct your spelling
psychological
remain
unstable. Spending much time Change the verb form
remains
before
their Change preposition
on
phone
could effect
their character and personality, especially Correct your spelling
affect
there
is a myriad of inappropriate Correct word choice
since there
contents
on Fix the agreement mistake
content
internet
.
Add an article
the internet
Furthermore
, without mobile
Add an article
a mobile
the mobile
phone
, it will make it easier for teacher to form a bond with their students
. The ties between the two is
very crucial because Change the verb form
are
teachers
are the second parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
for
Change preposition
of
students
. If students
look down their
Change preposition
on their
teachers
, the educators could be denigrated and disrespected. In that case, although
teachers
give many positive feedback as well as
good guidances
to Fix the agreement mistake
guidance
students
, the pupil will undoubtedly disobey their educators.
To sum up
, restricting the use of mobile phones does not align with banning it
from entire activities. In fact, the Correct pronoun usage
them
school
curriculum had better adjust with the advancement of technology in order to prepare the future of students
. To make it happen, instead
of keeping students
away from their phone
, Fix the agreement mistake
phones
teachers
and educators could teach and guide them how
to use Change preposition
on how
gadget
properly and professionally.Fix the agreement mistake
gadgets
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task response
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of both perspectives, but the absence of concrete examples and some points left unsupported weaken your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are well-organized, but a stronger logical structure would enhance the overall flow and persuasiveness of your essay.
task response
You have presented a balanced view and clearly your opinion, which is a strong element in your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay contains an introduction and a conclusion that appropriately wraps up your argument, which provides a clear structure.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.