IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant.

#plans #show #harbour #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The presented maps illustrate a number of changes taking place in Porth Harbour between 2000 and the present day.
Overall
, it can be clearly seen that the total
area
 of Harbour Porth is the same,but many things have been added and the functionality of the port has significantly improved. In 2000, there was a large section dedicated to the disused castle on the right-hand side of the lifeboat.
However
,
this
area
 has been transformed into the Hotel.
Moreover
, the beach located near the Hotel transformed from a public to a private recreational
area
 accessible only to visitors.
In addition
, opposite the road was a newly built Cafe and shops. It can be noticed that Marina Private Yachts relocated to the opposite side in 24 years
instead
 of fishing boats. In the western part of the
area
, additional buildings are dedicated to Bathrooms and Toilets.
Furthermore
, passenger ferry numbers have been expanded in order to ensure the comfortable transportation of individuals. At present, there is a road which originates from the Lifeboat and leads straight to the hotel. Meanwhile,
main
Change the article
the main
show examples
 road has remained unchanged over the years.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
Your response effectively highlights the main features of the changes in Porth Harbour from 2000 to today. However, there are areas where further clarification and expansion would strengthen your response. For instance, additional details regarding the 'private recreational area' and how it benefits visitors could be included to support your points more comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical flow and most points are connected well. Nonetheless, some transitions between ideas could be smoother. For instance, rather than jumping directly from the hotel transformation to the beach, you could use linking words or phrases, such as ‘In addition’ or ‘Furthermore’, more effectively.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear overall comparison of the harbour in 2000 and the present day, providing a solid foundation for the reader to understand the transformations that have occurred.
coherence cohesion
You have used appropriate vocabulary to describe the changes and the present state of the harbour, contributing to a clear and informative essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • harbour (or harbor)
  • docks
  • shipping lanes
  • warehouses
  • recreational areas
  • infrastructure
  • additions
  • removals
  • facilities
  • environmental sustainability
  • economic impact
  • local community
  • capacity
  • technological advancements
  • industrial shipping
  • recreational use
  • surrounding infrastructure
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