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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You live with your old grandmother. However, you will have to leave her alone for a week next month as you have to go out for official work. You decide to call your cousin to come and spend some time with her in your absence. In your letter, include: For how long you will be out Medication and special care of your grandmother Some other important instructions

#grandmother #week #month #work #cousin #time #absence #medication #care #instructions
Dear Jason, I
Hope
Fix capitalization
hope
show examples
 you and the family are in the pink of health. I am writing
this
 letter to request you to house sit my flat and take care of grandmother in my absence. I will be out of town for the fortnight as sudden office responsibilities have come up. I will be travelling to the New town and
stay
Wrong verb form
staying
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 there for two weeks.
Although
 I will
in
Add a missing verb
be in
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 touch with you on the mobile
and
Correct word choice
apply
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you can contact me on whats app in case of emergency.
Furthermore
, let me remind you that grandmother is on medication and she takes regular medication on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
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 basis in the morning and the evening.
In addition
 to that she takes a siesta in the afternoon for three hours.
Some time
Correct your spelling
Sometimes
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 her
knees
Change the noun form
knee
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 pain
get
Verb problem
apply
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worsen
Correct subject-verb agreement
worsens
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 so you need to use ointment prescribed by
doctor
Add an article
a doctor
the doctor
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 on her knees.
Consequently
, you need to take care of my flat too. In case of
emergency
Add a comma
emergency,
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 you can call security on 88888. They will help you out regardless
the
Change preposition
of the
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 nature of
situation
Add an article
the situation
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 you are facing.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 you need to water the plant on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
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 basis. Hope you will take care of
grandmother
Correct pronoun usage
your grandmother
show examples
. Yours truly, Mark Wood
Submitted by yash334 on

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suitable writing tone
Make sure to have a more formal and consistent tone throughout the letter. This helps in conveying respect and clarity.
single idea per paragraph
Ensure each paragraph introduces a single idea and related details to improve readability and cohesion.
complete response
The letter covers all required points - duration of absence, medication and special care for grandmother, and other important instructions.
greeting and closing
Proper greeting and sign-off are used, creating a respectful and familiar tone.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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