Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal informations such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. some people say that this information may be relevant and useful, others disagree. discuss both views and include your opinion.

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In today's job market, some employers solicit personal
information
from candidates; like marital status and favourite
pasttimes
Correct your spelling
pastimes
past times
. Some argue that these details can be of use as they may provide insights into the applicant's character and routines that could, in turn, affect their
performance
if hired. Others,
however
, suggest that individuals' personal lives are irrelevant and useless for employers. Whilst some may claim
otherwise
,
it is clear that
these details are important as certain personal preferences are likely to hint as to the way potential employees may perform at
work
. On one hand, some may see the solicitation of personal
information
as
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unnecessary as the way
people
choose to live their lives outside of
work
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
very unlikely to
transate
Correct your spelling
translate
into their
work
performance
.
Moreover
, there
are
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is
show examples
a cadre of instances where
people
partaking in activities that some may consider
irresponsable
Correct your spelling
irresponsible
, like drinking and partying, actually perform very well in their professions. Elon Musk,
for instance
, is
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
notorious for attending parties outside of working hours. Despite
this
, he has successfully established a number of large businesses like Tesla and SpaceX. Contrarily, some
people
believe that certain personal
information
can, indeed, have negative consequences
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
people
's
work
performance
as they can have negative physiological consequences that prevent employees from performing as expected.
People
that pursue
marial
Correct your spelling
martial
arts as a hobby,
for instance
, may struggle to even come to
work
after a fight. A well-known example of
this
may be Connor McGregor, who stated that he would constantly fail to come to
work
because of the damage he received during fights.
To sum up
,
although
not all personal
information
of employees
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
relevant to employers, it is certain that some, like those mentioned above, are clear indicators of
performance
, and
thus
, are important points of consideration when evaluating candidates.
Submitted by denisbeytekin on

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Detailed Explanations
Clarify your points further and provide more detailed explanations to support your arguments. For instance, elaborate on how personal hobbies can impact job performance beyond the examples provided.
Paragraph Structure
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and smooth transitions between ideas to enhance the overall flow of the essay.
Language Accuracy
Double-check for minor language errors and improve sentence structure for greater clarity. For example, ‘marial’ should be ‘martial’ and ‘transate’ should be ‘translate’.
Balanced Discussion
The essay presents a balanced discussion, considering both perspectives on the topic.
Use of Examples
Relevant and specific examples are provided, such as those of Elon Musk and Connor McGregor, which help to illustrate the main points effectively.
Clear Introduction and Conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present, providing a framework for the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural fit
  • teamwork
  • marital status
  • stability
  • commitment potential
  • discrimination
  • bias
  • job performance
  • recruitment
  • holistic view
  • soft skills
  • personality traits
  • privacy invasion
  • job requirements
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