IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the charts show projections for global production by sector in 2040 and 2060.

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The provided charts illustrate the predicted proportions of global
productions
Fix the agreement mistake
production
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 by 6 different sectors in 2040 and 2060.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is projected that manufacturing and services will make up the vast majority of universal
production
Use synonyms
. In 2040, Services will be the biggest
production
Use synonyms
 with 40% after manufacturing with 31%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is projected that both of them will increase slightly, services will enhance
41
Change preposition
by 41
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%
while
Linking Words
 manufacturing will
raise
Correct your spelling
rise
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 to 33%.
Also
Linking Words
, Info-com Tech will grow in 2060 to 16% from 15% in 2040.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, material
production
Use synonyms
 will enhance in 2060 too. In 2040 it is projected that materials will make up the 4%.
However
Linking Words
, In 2060 it will increase slenderly to 5%. Energy and agriculture productions are predicted to diminish in 2060. In 2040,
total
Add an article
the total
show examples
 rate of them
are
Change the verb form
is
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 11%.
By contrast
Linking Words
, It is going to reduce the total amount
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
 6%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, In 2040 material
production
Use synonyms
 will be the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
 rate of
graph
Add an article
the graph
a graph
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 with 3%.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it is projected that in 2060 agriculture will
be
Verb problem
have
show examples
 the lowest rate of
production
Use synonyms
 with 1%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words production with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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