IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the charts show projections for global production by sector in 2040 and 2060.

the charts show projections for global production by sector in 2040 and 2060.
#show #projections #production #sector
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The provided charts illustrate the predicted proportions of global
productions
Fix the agreement mistake
production
show examples
 by 6 different sectors in 2040 and 2060.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is projected that manufacturing and services will make up the vast majority of universal
production
Use synonyms
. In 2040, Services will be the biggest
production
Use synonyms
 with 40% after manufacturing with 31%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is projected that both of them will increase slightly, services will enhance
41
Change preposition
by 41
show examples
%
while
Linking Words
 manufacturing will
raise
Correct your spelling
rise
show examples
 to 33%.
Also
Linking Words
, Info-com Tech will grow in 2060 to 16% from 15% in 2040.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, material
production
Use synonyms
 will enhance in 2060 too. In 2040 it is projected that materials will make up the 4%.
However
Linking Words
, In 2060 it will increase slenderly to 5%. Energy and agriculture productions are predicted to diminish in 2060. In 2040,
total
Add an article
the total
show examples
 rate of them
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 11%.
By contrast
Linking Words
, It is going to reduce the total amount
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
 6%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, In 2040 material
production
Use synonyms
 will be the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
 rate of
graph
Add an article
the graph
a graph
show examples
 with 3%.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it is projected that in 2060 agriculture will
be
Verb problem
have
show examples
 the lowest rate of
production
Use synonyms
 with 1%.
Submitted by taylanpolat6124 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words production with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: