IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Write about the following topic: In many countries, international tourism has become an important source of income. However, it also has negative effects. Do the benefits of international tourism outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #countries #tourism #source #income #effects
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Some people would argue that in many
countries
,
tourism
 has become an essential source of
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
 economy.
while
 it has
drawback
 effects.
This
 essay will argue that despite
Correct article usage
the drawback
show examples
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
show examples
 the benefits of
toursim
Correct your spelling
tourism
 like
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in a
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
 income and
job
opportunities
 far
outweighs
Change the verb form
outweigh
show examples
 any
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
show examples
. Some people think that visiting their
countries
 by
tourism
 has a negative impact on their
country
. they say when tourists come to their cities, they do not care about their waste, because they usually throw it everywhere, and
this
is makes
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environmental pollution,
such
 as
marina
Correct your spelling
marine
show examples
 pollution.
However
, the government can put strict rules to limit
this
 problem. The biggest benefits of international
tourism
 are a better source of income and it increases
job
opportunities
 for
countries
' people. When
tourism
Replace the word
tourists
show examples
 visit any
country
, they will spend their money in hotels,
resturents
Correct your spelling
restaurants
, and shops. That
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
 to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
 economy. That source of income will help them to improve their
country
.
Furthermore
, the highest number of
tourism
Replace the word
tourists
show examples
 will lead to more
job
opportunities
, because of a higher demand in hotels and
resturents
Correct your spelling
restaurants
.
For example
, a recent survey found that the number of jobs increased in
countries
 with a high rate of
tourism
. In conclusion,
although
tourism
Replace the word
tourists
show examples
 sometimes do not care about their waste, the benefits of
tourism
such
 as
increases
Replace the word
increased
show examples
countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
show examples
 incomes and
job
opportunities
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
far
outweights
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 any
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
show examples
. It is recommended that the government should put a rule to limit
tourism
's waste and
regulation
Replace the word
regulate
show examples
 that rule, and it
it
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 better to give them a fine for
this
 situation.
Submitted by sarraadel1551 on

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task achievement
Improve the introduction by clearly stating the thesis and outlining the main points to be discussed in the essay.
task achievement
Ensure all ideas are fully developed and supported with more extensive examples or evidence where appropriate.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence variety and complexity to create a more cohesive and coherent essay.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammatical structures and the consistent use of tenses to enhance readability.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument regarding international tourism's benefits and drawbacks.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, providing a clear structure.
task achievement
The main points are clearly stated and supported with some examples.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Revenue generation
  • Hospitality industry
  • Cultural exchange
  • Infrastructure development
  • Environmental degradation
  • Cultural erosion
  • Overcrowding
  • Seasonal dependence
  • Economic benefits
  • Job creation
  • Local economy
  • Tourist attractions
  • Natural habitats
  • Traditions and lifestyles
  • Public facilities
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