It is suggested that everyone in the world should have a car, a TV and a fridge. Do you think the disadvantages outweigh the advantages for society?
It is advised that
people
must have a car
,a TV and a fridge . I believe that drawbacks
of Correct article usage
the drawbacks
this
facilities do not outweigh the benefits because Correct determiner usage
these
although
this
is a unnecessary items for most of
Change preposition
apply
the
families when it comes to cost Correct article usage
apply
but
these items become basic needs in order to travel and keep Remove the conjunction
apply
food
fresh in the fridge.
The main disadvantage of having a car
is traffic congestion on roads and harmful effect
on Fix the agreement mistake
effects
environment
. Each family member has a Add an article
the environment
car
nowadays which leads to traffic jam
on the roads and burning fuel which pollutes Fix the agreement mistake
jams
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
also
. Beside
Replace the word
Besides
this
, there are numerous demerits of TV such
as people
suffer
from eye-sight issues Wrong verb form
suffering
due to
prolong
Change the form of the verb
prolonged
period
of watching Fix the agreement mistake
periods
screen
Fix the agreement mistake
screens
and
Correct word choice
which
also
shows
Verb problem
has
bad
effect on Correct article usage
a bad
sedentary
lifestyle . Add an article
a sedentary
For example
, children who watch TV for a long period suffers
eye-sight Correct subject-verb agreement
suffer
as well as
weight gain problems . However
, I would argue that without car
it would be hard to commute to their workplaces .
The benefit of having a Add an article
a car
the car
car
is that it would be easier for people
to commute to their job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
instead
of wasting time in
Change preposition
on
the
public transport. Correct article usage
apply
Also
, fridge
is important Correct article usage
a fridge
keep
Add the particle
to keep
a
Remove the article
food
a portion of food
food
fresh in the house . If family members keep leftovers in the kitchen then
it is most likely the food
get poisned
with bacteria which would be bad for individual health issues. Correct your spelling
poisoned
For example
, vegetables should be stored in refrigerated area
to keep Fix the agreement mistake
areas
food
fresh and healthy . I think that the most important consideration is to make life easy and keep yourself healthy .
In conclusion , although
it is unfortunate that these items have bad
impact on Correct article usage
a bad
environment
Add an article
the environment
as well as
on health but
I Remove the conjunction
apply
beleive
that Correct your spelling
believe
this
make
Change the verb form
makes
people
Change noun form
people's
life
much easier by commuting to workplaces and keeping your Fix the agreement mistake
lives
food
fresh for long
time.Change the article
a long
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introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is clear, but it could be improved by including a brief outline of the points you will discuss in the essay. This helps set the stage for the reader and improves clarity.
supported main points
Some points lack adequate development and detail. Ensure your main points are fully supported with relevant examples and explanations to create a cohesive argument. For instance, you mentioned the negative effects of TV, but you could elaborate more on how to mitigate them.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are generally clear and relevant, but there are instances where clarity could be improved. For example, you can structure the comparative statements more effectively. Phrases such as 'I would argue that without car it would be hard...' could be better framed for clarity.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which help the reader understand your position and summary of arguments.
relevant specific examples
You have used relevant examples to support your arguments, which strengthens your response.
logical structure
The structure of the essay is logical, making it easy for the reader to follow your points.
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