IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that in many cities around the world there are constant traffic jams. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#car #ownership #thirty #years #cities #world #traffic #jams
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The number of people who own
cars
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 has increased rapidly in the past 30 years which has caused constant
traffic
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 jams in many
towns
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 all over the world. Personally, I strongly agree with
this
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 statement and I will elaborate in
this
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 essay. One main reason for
traffic
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 jams in
towns
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 worldwide is the sharp increase in car ownership. As more people get
cars
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, urban areas become more crowded. In cities with limited or poor public
transportation
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, many residents rely on their
cars
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 for daily commutes.
This
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 leads to a rise in the number of vehicles on the roads.
Moreover
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,
cars
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’ addition means more competition for space, which results in longer travel times.
Additionally
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, many
towns
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 lack enough road
infrastructure
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,
such
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 as wider roads or alternative
transportation
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 options.
This
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 makes it hard to handle the growing number of
cars
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. So
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
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, the combination of rising car ownership and insufficient road
infrastructure
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 causes ongoing
traffic
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 congestion that many
towns
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 find difficult to manage. In conclusion, the rapid increase in car ownership over the
last
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 30 years has greatly added to
traffic
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 congestion in
towns
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 around the world. As more people depend on personal vehicles, cities struggle with crowded roads and longer travel times. The absence of good public
transportation
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 and proper
infrastructure
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 makes the problem worse, creating a cycle of congestion
that is
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 hard to fix. To solve these issues,
towns
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 need to invest in better public
transportation
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 and improve their road
infrastructure
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.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
Consider including more specific examples to enhance your arguments.
task achievement
Try to develop the main points a bit further for greater clarity.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a more logical and detailed connection between your ideas to improve overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and concise, setting up and summarizing your arguments well.
coherence cohesion
You have a logical structure and development of ideas.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear stance on the issue.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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