IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that in many cities around the world there are constant traffic jams. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#car #ownership #thirty #years #cities #world #traffic #jams
The number of people who own
cars
 has increased rapidly in the past 30 years which has caused constant
traffic
 jams in many
towns
 all over the world. Personally, I strongly agree with
this
 statement and I will elaborate in
this
 essay. One main reason for
traffic
 jams in
towns
 worldwide is the sharp increase in car ownership. As more people get
cars
, urban areas become more crowded. In cities with limited or poor public
transportation
, many residents rely on their
cars
 for daily commutes.
This
 leads to a rise in the number of vehicles on the roads.
Moreover
,
cars
’ addition means more competition for space, which results in longer travel times.
Additionally
, many
towns
 lack enough road
infrastructure
,
such
 as wider roads or alternative
transportation
 options.
This
 makes it hard to handle the growing number of
cars
. So
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
, the combination of rising car ownership and insufficient road
infrastructure
 causes ongoing
traffic
 congestion that many
towns
 find difficult to manage. In conclusion, the rapid increase in car ownership over the
last
 30 years has greatly added to
traffic
 congestion in
towns
 around the world. As more people depend on personal vehicles, cities struggle with crowded roads and longer travel times. The absence of good public
transportation
 and proper
infrastructure
 makes the problem worse, creating a cycle of congestion
that is
 hard to fix. To solve these issues,
towns
 need to invest in better public
transportation
 and improve their road
infrastructure
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider including more specific examples to enhance your arguments.
task achievement
Try to develop the main points a bit further for greater clarity.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a more logical and detailed connection between your ideas to improve overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and concise, setting up and summarizing your arguments well.
coherence cohesion
You have a logical structure and development of ideas.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear stance on the issue.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: