IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

All criminals should have access to education and rehabilitation programs while in prison. To what extent do you agree or disagree on this IELTS topic?

#criminals #access #education #rehabilitation #programs #prison #ielts #topic
Criminals
 are often considered to have the lowest status in society.
In other words
, people seem to be disgusted by them and do not share empathy.
Nonetheless
, human rights organisations believe that they have the right to receive
education
 and
rehabilitation
 programs though they are in prison. I personally agree with the statement that
criminals
 are human after all, and they deserve to be given a second chance. Most citizens do not like the idea of prisoners being treated well. They believe it is best to make them as miserable as possible as the consequences of their bad actions, as sometimes what they do is beyond belief.
For instance
, someone who murdered others should be given the death penalty without any tolerance or someone who committed corruption should be severely penalized.
Furthermore
, others may think it is useless to provide
education
 and
rehabilitation
 programs as
criminals
 will not repent and change their improper attitude which has been ingrained in their blood.
Nevertheless
, it is common for human rights organisations to fight for prisoners' rights. The organisation believe that through
education
 and
rehabilitation
, they can change.
For example
, someone who is a drug addict should be given
rehabilitation
 programs
instead
 of facing the death penalty.
This
 gives the person another future for them to live life the right way.
Education
 is
also
 believed to help their way of thinking so that they can have different perspectives of ways of life that can transform their thought and behaviour. Ultimately,
although
 it is true that
criminals
 should face charges for what they have done, I personally think it is
also
 best to give them a second chance by giving them proper
education
 and
rehabilitation
 to make them have a breakthrough in their lives.
Submitted by riani.the2 on

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task achievement
Consider using a wider variety of specific examples to illustrate your points more effectively.
task achievement
Ensure that all main points are fully developed and supported with detailed arguments or evidence.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to maintain a logical progression of ideas throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in understanding the writer's standpoint.
task achievement
Provides a balanced view of the topic by discussing both perspectives.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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