IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

the first impression you have of a person is the best way to judge a person. do you agree?

#first #impression #person #judge
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It is said that the best way
for
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apply
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the
judgment
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judge
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of
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apply
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a
person
 is through the
first
 impression you have of
a
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the
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person
. I
stongly
Correct your spelling
strongly
 disagree with
this
 opinion, because of the changes
of
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in
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 human moods.
First
 of all,
human
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humans
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is
Verb problem
apply
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a sophisticated
creature
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creatures
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who
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apply
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influenced by
some
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apply
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internal factors.
This
 leads to changing his behaviour at times.
For example
,
hormons
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hormones
,
chemical
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a chemical
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substance
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substances
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 in our body,
one
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are one
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 of the important factors which can have
great
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a great
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 effect on
women
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women's
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behavoiurs
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behaviours
 and reactions.
According to
 the amount of some distinct types of them,
such
 as estrogen, a woman can be happy, upset or angry
in
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on
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 different days.
As a result
, because humans are under internal changes, the
first
 impression of a
person
 cannot be reliable
to
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enough to
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 judge a
person
.
In addition
, the reaction of individuals mainly is under outside conditions.
For instance
,
the
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apply
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work pressure, financial
problem
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problems
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,
wethear
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water
,
diseases
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and diseases
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 can affect
the
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apply
show examples
humans
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human's
humans'
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 function and behaviour. When someone endures complicated situations, the level of stress may be high. They may provoke with every stimulator, leading to react
exitmently
Correct your spelling
evidently
 or aggressively. For a true and unbiased judgement, it is necessary to visit individuals in different situations.
However
, some people think the
first
 vision can be the best way to judge people, but I strongly disagree with
this
statment
Correct your spelling
statement
, because of the influences of internal and external factors on our body and mind, leading to
differnt
Correct your spelling
different
reaction
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reactions
show examples
 in different
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
.
Submitted by hg1984 on

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task achievement
Overall, your essay demonstrates clear and comprehensive ideas, and you provide some relevant examples to support your arguments. However, be sure to avoid small spelling and grammatical mistakes. For example, 'stongly' should be 'strongly', 'behavoiurs' should be 'behaviours', and 'wethear' should be 'weather'.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, consider using a variety of linking words and transitions to ensure a smooth flow between ideas and paragraphs. This would help in making your essay easier to read and understand.
logical structure
You presented a logical structure in your argumentation and provided a clear stance on the issue at hand.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion effectively encapsulate your main points and position on the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • misleading
  • stereotyping
  • assumptions
  • incomplete information
  • non-verbal cues
  • subjective
  • inaccuracies
  • personal biases
  • cultural differences
  • yardstick for judgements
  • networking events
  • open-mindedness
  • subsequent interactions
  • psychological concept
  • 'thin slices'
  • valuable insights
What to do next:
Look at other essays: