Some people spend a lot of money for their wedding ceremonies. However, others feel like it is unnecessary to spend a lot. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

Whilst, some people believe that spending a huge amount
af
Correct your spelling
of
money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
a wedding
ceremony
is a common decision, others and I,
however
, say that individuals should not spend a lot, because it is unnecessary.
This
essay will examine both opinions in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, it is
obvous
Correct your spelling
obvious
that
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
groom and bride want to hold a brilliant event
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because they do not want to
dissapoint
Correct your spelling
disappoint
their relatives, by breaking the traditions.
Moreover
, in many
nations
Add a comma
nations,
show examples
humans tend to present some money or other gifts to the newlyweds, so almost all spendings are covered.
For example
, individuals can contribute their fortune to hold the
marrige
Correct your spelling
marriage
ceremony
, but
then
receive it back by accepting gifts.
Hence
, despite the fact that the event can need a lot of money, it anyways will not negatively impact
on
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apply
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the cost of living.
However
, organising a giant party to invite a
big
Correct word choice
large
show examples
number of people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
even do not know each other is
meaningless
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a meaningless
the meaningless
show examples
process,
Correct word choice
and that
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
also
is not effective in terms of budget.
In other words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future married humans should rather
arrenge
Correct your spelling
arrange
a small
ceremony
with their closest relatives
ot
Correct your spelling
than
just sign the document, since making an event is always
stressful
Add an article
a stressful
show examples
procedure, so the simplest method may improve the connection between two
person
Change to a plural noun
people
show examples
. To illustrate,
according to
a recent study, in the middle of
the
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apply
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planning the
ceremony
there is a big chance of
quarrel
Fix the agreement mistake
quarrels
show examples
, that can change
peoples
Change noun form
people's
show examples
mind
Correct subject-verb agreement
minds
show examples
.
To conclude
,
although
certain humans pay for the actually expensive wedding
ceremony
, to keep their traditions and
hoping
Wrong verb form
hope
show examples
that gifts will cover all expenses, others think that it is meaningless and it is better to go by the simplest method.
Submitted by hhaha9102 on

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Grammar
There are a few minor grammatical errors, such as 'af' instead of 'of,' and 'dissapoint' instead of 'disappoint.' Review your writing for such errors to enhance readability.
Depth
Make sure to fully elaborate on your points. Some arguments are presented but lack extensive development or specific examples that could support your stance more comprehensively. This will improve clarity and make your argument more persuasive.
Structure
The essay would benefit from a more structured approach to presenting your ideas. Using more transitional phrases would help your ideas flow better and improve overall coherence.
Task Response
You have successfully presented both viewpoints and have provided your own opinion. This is essential for task fulfillment.
Structure
The introduction and conclusion are present, which provides a clear start and finish to your essay.
Content
Your essay addresses a relevant and interesting topic, keeping the reader engaged.

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