Some people spend a lot of money for their wedding ceremonies. However, others feel like it is unnecessary to spend a lot. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.
Whilst, some people believe that spending a huge amount
af
money Correct your spelling
of
for
a wedding Change preposition
on
ceremony
is a common decision, others and I, however
, say that individuals should not spend a lot, because it is unnecessary. This
essay will examine both opinions in the following paragraphs.
On the one hand, it is obvous
that Correct your spelling
obvious
future
groom and bride want to hold a brilliant eventCorrect article usage
the future
,
because they do not want to Remove the comma
apply
dissapoint
their relatives, by breaking the traditions. Correct your spelling
disappoint
Moreover
, in many nations
humans tend to present some money or other gifts to the newlyweds, so almost all spendings are covered. Add a comma
nations,
For example
, individuals can contribute their fortune to hold the marrige
Correct your spelling
marriage
ceremony
, but then
receive it back by accepting gifts. Hence
, despite the fact that the event can need a lot of money, it anyways will not negatively impact on
the cost of living.
Change preposition
apply
However
, organising a giant party to invite a big
number of people Correct word choice
large
that
even do not know each other is Correct pronoun usage
who
meaningless
process, Add an article
a meaningless
the meaningless
Correct word choice
and that
that
Correct pronoun usage
it
also
is not effective in terms of budget. In other words
, the
future married humans should rather Correct article usage
apply
arrenge
a small Correct your spelling
arrange
ceremony
with their closest relatives ot
just sign the document, since making an event is always Correct your spelling
than
stressful
procedure, so the simplest method may improve the connection between two Add an article
a stressful
person
. To illustrate, Change to a plural noun
people
according to
a recent study, in the middle of the
planning the Correct article usage
apply
ceremony
there is a big chance of quarrel
, that can change Fix the agreement mistake
quarrels
peoples
Change noun form
people's
mind
.
Correct subject-verb agreement
minds
To conclude
, although
certain humans pay for the actually expensive wedding ceremony
, to keep their traditions and hoping
that gifts will cover all expenses, others think that it is meaningless and it is better to go by the simplest method.Wrong verb form
hope
Submitted by hhaha9102 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Grammar
There are a few minor grammatical errors, such as 'af' instead of 'of,' and 'dissapoint' instead of 'disappoint.' Review your writing for such errors to enhance readability.
Depth
Make sure to fully elaborate on your points. Some arguments are presented but lack extensive development or specific examples that could support your stance more comprehensively. This will improve clarity and make your argument more persuasive.
Structure
The essay would benefit from a more structured approach to presenting your ideas. Using more transitional phrases would help your ideas flow better and improve overall coherence.
Task Response
You have successfully presented both viewpoints and have provided your own opinion. This is essential for task fulfillment.
Structure
The introduction and conclusion are present, which provides a clear start and finish to your essay.
Content
Your essay addresses a relevant and interesting topic, keeping the reader engaged.