Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to poorer countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
developed
countries
support
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poor
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
with
money
, some people think they must assist with other needs. They think that helping with
money
will not affect the growth of the state. It is undeniable that aid become an essential part of our life. Now people are
begginig
Correct your spelling
beginning
begging
to realize that any kind of help would
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
affect
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the growth of
republic
Correct article usage
the republic
show examples
. Personally, I tend to think that
countries
must
support
each other
any
Change preposition
in any
show examples
kind of situation and what is the most important is to encourage
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
communication with each other.
Firstly
, it is well known that
with out
Correct your spelling
without
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
communication there will be no friendship between
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
and because of
this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
there may be disputes between
countries
. It is a result of people's indignation that there is little
support
from another country. One of the main reasons behind
that is
the problem with aid that rich
countries
give to poor ones is that
money
by itself does not always solve all problems. If
countries
do not communicate with each other, it can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts.
Therefore
, it is important for
countries
to actively communicate and work together. If
countries
communicate better, they will be able to understand each other's real needs and help more effectively.
For example
,
money
may not solve problems with education or health care, so it is important to
support
development in these areas too. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account in our final analysis we can say that without mutual understanding and help in any way, even a little
support
will be reflected well.
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay lacks robust and relevant examples for each point made. Including specific and varied examples to support your statements will strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to sentence structure and avoid repetitive vocabulary to express your ideas more variedly and clearly.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that tells the reader what to expect in the paragraph.
task achievement
You have addressed the task and provided a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains some logical flow and progression of ideas between paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • economic inequality
  • developing nations
  • foreign aid
  • sustainable growth
  • technical assistance
  • expertise
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • fair trade
  • trade barriers
  • sustainable development
  • environmental conservation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: