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Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

The charts below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000.

The charts below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000.
#show #percentages #men #women #employment #four #countries
The given
stastic
Correct your spelling
statistic
statistics
static
illustrate
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrates
show examples
 the employment percentages of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 aged 60-64 in Australia, Japan,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
,
Correct word choice
and Beigium
show examples
Beigium
Correct your spelling
Belgium
 for the years 1970 and 2000.
Overall
, quantity of
men
Correct your spelling
male
show examples
 employees is higher than women employees, in all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
four countries and in 1970 and 2000.
Firstly
, the chart shows that
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of workers in Japan and Beigium
increasingly
Add a missing verb
is increasingly
show examples
 male
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 female.
For example
, indicators of Japan in 1970 and 2000
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 84% and 76%, respectively. And percentages of employment in
Beigium
Correct your spelling
Belgium
 in 1970 and 2000 is 79% and 19%, respectively.
Submitted by bellovanina97 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentages" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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