Many people leave the countryside for the greater opportunities which are offered by cities. This move is not without disadvantages for both people and the environment. What are some benefits and drawbacks of urbanization?

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Nowadays, folks who live in the rural area tend to leave their villages for better conditions that can be found only in the
cities
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, who offers a number of various facilities.
As a result
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to
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of
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urbanization
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, pollution
have
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has
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increased in the
cities
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,
while
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in the rural
areas
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areas,
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less
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fewer
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and
less
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fewer
show examples
people
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are living there. In
this
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essay, I will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of
urbanization
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.
Firstly
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,
cities
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has
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have
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a lot much to offer than the
countryside
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, numerous
people
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choose to leave for better work opportunities and
also
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for higher education which can be found only in the bigger
cities
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.
For example
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, the community of the city benefits from a larger hand of workers which can help in the growth of the finance department and
also
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have by their side more educated folks.
Therefore
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,
cities
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attract
people
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from the
countryside
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for their facilities which can help them evolve not only
financialy
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financially
but
also
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with gaining
knownledge
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knowledge
.
Secondly
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, the mass of
people
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who abandon the
countryside
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for
cities
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lead
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leads
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to the
raise
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rise
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of teenancy,
due to
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the fact that the
grow
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growth
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of
urbanization
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cause finding a place to live harder than before. In
addiction
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addition
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, the proportion of pollution has increased because of
urbanization
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,
while
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in the
countryside
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the pollution of the air is less.
For example
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, folks who choose to study in the bigger
cities
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, rarely find
an
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apply
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accommodation as the city is full
with
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of
show examples
immigrants and even if they find one it is really expensive for their budget. In conclusion,
urbanization
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helps other
people
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from different areas to evolve as
they
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it
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give
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gives
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to
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apply
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them a
plenthora
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plethora
of opportunities,
however
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, the departure can have an impact on the mental health of the individual
due to
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the fact that
their
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they
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are leaving family and friends behind in order to discover themselves.
Submitted by annaungureanu794 on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the question by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of urbanization, but it lacks depth and detail in some areas. To achieve a higher score, ensure each point is well-elaborated with clear, relevant supporting details.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure your ideas follow a logical structure. Some paragraphs introduce multiple points that could be better separated. Organizing each paragraph to discuss one main idea improves clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction and conclusion, which is good, but the conclusions you draw are somewhat superficial. Try to provide more insightful takeaways or potential solutions to the issues discussed.
task achievement
Provide a range of specific examples to illustrate your points more effectively. General statements make it harder to demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.
general
Improve sentence structure and grammar. For instance, "the growth of urbanization cause finding a place to live harder than before" could be corrected to "the growth of urbanization causes finding a place to live to be harder than before." Consistent grammatical accuracy is crucial for higher scores.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay clearly defines the topic and provides an introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You have identified key benefits, such as better work opportunities and higher education, as well as key drawbacks such as tenancy issues and pollution.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • employment prospects
  • quality of life
  • cultural exposure
  • environmental degradation
  • overcrowding
  • pollution
  • strain on resources
  • cost of living
  • financial benefits
  • rural communities
  • local economies
  • migration
  • essential services
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