Some countries have introduced laws to limit working hours for employees. Why are these laws introduced? Do you think they are a positive or negative development?
In recent years, some countries have started
practicing
new Change the spelling
practising
laws
to limit working hours
for employees
. It is mainly because of the modern ideology of labour hours
and to protect employees
from exploitation. This
essay will argue this
change as
a positive development.
Correct your spelling
is
Laws
are not meant to be remained
static. Over the years, different nations introduced various Change to the active voice
remain
have remained
laws
to protect the people. Moreover
, there could be constant pressure from the voters or labour right
activists towards the government to come up with Fix the agreement mistake
rights
news
rules for their own Correct your spelling
new
health
and safety. Some of the modern scientific studies revealed that working hours
should be limited to enhance the
productivity and to improve the Correct article usage
apply
health
of employees
. A recent survey found that production
rate of Correct article usage
the production
company's
Change noun form
companies
those
follow 8 Correct pronoun usage
that
hours
working day remained static throughout the week. On the other contrary, production
rate of those who follow 10 Add an article
the production
a production
hours
working day fell sharply towards the end of the week. Even though they worked less a day, the overall
volume of production
in a week was 20% more that
the latter.
Correct word choice
than
One
the other hand, modern countries think about the safety and security of the Correct your spelling
On
employees
now-a-days
. A study revealed that if there is no strict law regarding working Correct the word
nowadays
hours
, employers tend to exploit those who work under them. Hence
, it impacts the worker's health
and mind. I believe these laws
are positive development
for our society because not only Fix the agreement mistake
developments
these
Add a missing verb
do these
laws
protect the workers but also
help to increase productivity.
In conclusion, it is true that some countries have incorporated new laws
to limit working hours
and this
can help to improve people's health
and company's
Correct article usage
the company's
production
overall
and I argue that it is a positive change for those nations.Submitted by niloyirtisam on
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task achievement
Your response addresses both parts of the question and provides a clear position. To further improve, expand on the reasons why these laws are a positive development with more in-depth examples or studies.
coherence cohesion
Some ideas need more logical development. Linking sentences and paragraphs more smoothly will help enhance coherence. Work on providing stronger transitions between points to make your arguments flow better.
coherence cohesion
There are a few grammatical errors and awkwardly phrased sentences. It would be beneficial to proofread your essay and attempt to vary sentence structures for a more polished piece of writing.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which succinctly present and summarize your argument.
task achievement
You provided a survey example, which supports your argument about productivity and working hours.
task achievement
Your main points are mostly relevant and on-topic, addressing the reasons for the laws and their positive aspects.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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