Some people belive that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory jo or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There is no doubt that
this days
Change the determiner
this day
these days
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
think there is no need to try
develop Add the particle
try to
there
Replace the word
their
situation
. the question is did the stuation
Correct your spelling
situation
its
not matter Correct pronoun usage
apply
Change preposition
in copmarison
copmarison
withCorrect your spelling
comparison
get
Change the verb form
getting
money
? In this
essay, iam
going to talk about some Correct your spelling
I am
people
who think that money
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
matter
Correct subject-verb agreement
matters
than
Correct quantifier usage
more than
there
Correct your spelling
their
stuation
. In terms of Correct your spelling
situation
advantaged
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
people
can develop there
Replace the word
their
situation
although
Change preposition
through
a
multiple methods , First of all , the main reason given to support Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
this
claim is that Islam order
us to trust in Change the verb form
orders
the
god in everything , Correct article usage
apply
Also
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
cant
give up in the face of adversity . To illustrate , Correct your spelling
can't
a
many Correct article usage
apply
of
Change preposition
apply
people
there was
poor and they Change the verb form
were
have
to try to Wrong verb form
had
being
better to get a lot of Change the verb
be
money
and save their life
for Fix the agreement mistake
lives
future
and their can in the face of adversity . In other words , we infer can could any ove get the Correct article usage
the future
life
thier
Correct your spelling
they
wont
. Correct your spelling
want
Morever
, can any person in Correct your spelling
Moreover
this
world develop dreams by doing difficult working
Replace the word
work
.
Change the punctuation
?
Firstly
, no onr
can get which there Correct your spelling
one
wont
Add an apostrophe
won't
excaptfor
those who Correct your spelling
except for
wourks
in Correct your spelling
works
work
diffcult
. Correct your spelling
difficult
Secondly
, if people
dcrease
Correct your spelling
decrease
increase
work
their
can have more rewards Change the pronoun
them
this
is because Change preposition
of thier
thier
Correct your spelling
their
work
, Also
, the people
who seek to improve thier
Correct your spelling
their
situation
they
will get a lot of Correct pronoun usage
apply
money
and can buy anything there wont
without hesitation and save Add an apostrophe
won't
thier
Correct your spelling
their
life
with money
and theye
can have in face of adversity with society . In conclusion, Correct your spelling
they
altough
there Correct your spelling
although
many
Add a missing verb
are many
people
they
dont seek Correct pronoun usage
who
work
Fix the infinitive
to work
hardly
Change the word
hard
for
this
reason thier
Correct your spelling
their
situation
its
adverse , On Correct your spelling
is
other
Correct article usage
the other
hands
a lot of Fix the agreement mistake
hand
people
they
try to Correct pronoun usage
apply
work
hardly and get everythings thier
would with increase
Wrong verb form
increased
money
and live in peace . In conclusion , it is evident that the people
who try to get better work
comparison people
who they
accept Correct pronoun usage
apply
thier situaion
. Correct your spelling
their situation
Therefore
, i
believe that the Change the capitalization
I
people
who work
hardly
to get Change the word
hard
thier
Correct your spelling
their
life
wont to be . must ensure steps are taken to prevent this
phenmenon
deteriorating future .Correct your spelling
phenomenon
Submitted by shougaldhafere on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
grammar
Work on improving your grammar and spelling. Consistent errors can distract from your ideas.
structure
Try to structure your essay more clearly. Use paragraphs effectively to separate different points or arguments and ensure a logical flow.
development
Develop each point more thoroughly. Provide specific examples and explanations to make your argument stronger.
introduction
Ensure that your introduction clearly states the topic and your thesis. This helps the reader understand your perspective from the beginning.
attempt
You attempted to discuss both views, which shows that you understand the essay requirements.
structure
Your effort to write an introduction and conclusion is appreciated and shows an understanding of essay structure.
examples
You included examples to support your points, which is good practice in essay writing.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion