Some people belive that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory jo or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There is no doubt that
this days
Change the determiner
this day
these days
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
think there is no need to
try
Add the particle
try to
show examples
develop
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
situation
. the question is did the
stuation
Correct your spelling
situation
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
not matter
Change preposition
in copmarison
show examples
copmarison
Correct your spelling
comparison
with
get
Change the verb form
getting
show examples
money
? In
this
essay,
iam
Correct your spelling
I am
going to talk about some
people
who think that
money
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
matter
Correct subject-verb agreement
matters
show examples
than
Correct quantifier usage
more than
show examples
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
stuation
Correct your spelling
situation
. In terms of
advantaged
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
people
can develop
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
situation
although
Change preposition
through
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
multiple methods , First of all , the main reason given to support
this
claim is that Islam
order
Change the verb form
orders
show examples
us to trust in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
god in everything ,
Also
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
cant
Correct your spelling
can't
show examples
give up in the face of adversity . To illustrate ,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
there
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
poor and they
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
to try to
being
Change the verb
be
show examples
better to get a lot of
money
and save their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
for
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
and their can in the face of adversity . In other words , we infer can could any ove get the
life
thier
Correct your spelling
they
wont
Correct your spelling
want
show examples
.
Morever
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, can any person in
this
world develop dreams by doing difficult
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
Firstly
, no
onr
Correct your spelling
one
can get which there
wont
Add an apostrophe
won't
show examples
excaptfor
Correct your spelling
except for
those who
wourks
Correct your spelling
works
work
in
diffcult
Correct your spelling
difficult
.
Secondly
, if
people
dcrease
Correct your spelling
decrease
increase
work
their
Change the pronoun
them
show examples
can have more rewards
this
is because
Change preposition
of thier
show examples
thier
Correct your spelling
their
work
,
Also
, the
people
who seek to improve
thier
Correct your spelling
their
situation
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will get a lot of
money
and can buy anything there
wont
Add an apostrophe
won't
show examples
without hesitation and save
thier
Correct your spelling
their
life
with
money
and
theye
Correct your spelling
they
can have in face of adversity with society . In conclusion,
altough
Correct your spelling
although
there
many
Add a missing verb
are many
show examples
people
they
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
dont seek
work
Fix the infinitive
to work
show examples
hardly
Change the word
hard
show examples
for
this
reason
thier
Correct your spelling
their
situation
its
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
adverse , On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
a lot of
people
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
try to
work
hardly and get everythings
thier
would with
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
money
and live in peace . In conclusion , it is evident that the
people
who try to get better
work
comparison
people
who
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
accept
thier situaion
Correct your spelling
their situation
.
Therefore
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
believe that the
people
who
work
hardly
Change the word
hard
show examples
to get
thier
Correct your spelling
their
life
wont to be . must ensure steps are taken to prevent
this
phenmenon
Correct your spelling
phenomenon
deteriorating future .
Submitted by shougaldhafere on

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grammar
Work on improving your grammar and spelling. Consistent errors can distract from your ideas.
structure
Try to structure your essay more clearly. Use paragraphs effectively to separate different points or arguments and ensure a logical flow.
development
Develop each point more thoroughly. Provide specific examples and explanations to make your argument stronger.
introduction
Ensure that your introduction clearly states the topic and your thesis. This helps the reader understand your perspective from the beginning.
attempt
You attempted to discuss both views, which shows that you understand the essay requirements.
structure
Your effort to write an introduction and conclusion is appreciated and shows an understanding of essay structure.
examples
You included examples to support your points, which is good practice in essay writing.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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