Some people say that watching TV programmes and movies related to crime are popular. Why do you think it’s popular and how does it affect society?
Some individuals would argue that watching
TV
programmes and movies
connected to crime
an incredibly common. This
essay totally agree
with that statement because there is a huge amount of Change the verb form
agrees
crime
movies
with a high number of views, and this
would increase Correct article usage
the violent
violent
and Replace the word
violence
crime
rates of
Change preposition
in
the
society.
Correct article usage
apply
Firstly
, crime
movies
such
as murders
are Fix the agreement mistake
Murder
famouses
on Correct your spelling
famous
TV
, that
makes many Correct pronoun usage
which
people
watching
Wrong verb form
watch
it
. Correct pronoun usage
them
Moreover
, this
type of movies
has many famous actors, Fix the agreement mistake
movie
therefore
, young people
will watch it, and sometimes their role modles
are one of the actors.Correct your spelling
models
modules
This
will lead them to do similar actions, which have
Verb problem
are
a
violent. Correct article usage
apply
For example
, a recent survey found that the number of crimes increased after a famous criminal movie published
in Spain and that Add a missing verb
was published
lead
to a Replace the word
led
big
number of criminals.
Correct word choice
large
In addition
, people
interested
in these Add a missing verb
are interested
crime
stories more than other stories, because it has interesting ideas and different actions,
like a police search for a murder. Remove the comma
apply
for
that Capitalize word
For
people
enjoyed
watching Wrong verb form
enjoy
it
for Correct pronoun usage
them
entertaining
.
To tackle Replace the word
entertainment
this
problem the government should increase taxes in
Change preposition
on
TV
channel owners and put policy for movie types, this
will regulate what people
watch and prevent young people
to become
criminals Change preposition
from becoming
due to
these movies
.
In conclusion, some people
would argue that TV
programmes and movies
have violents
,and Correct your spelling
violence
violent
this
lead
to Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
crime
rate of
Change preposition
in
the
society. The best solution for Correct article usage
apply
this
is icreaseing
taxes for Correct your spelling
increasing
TV
channel owners and ensure
Wrong verb form
ensuring
this
type of movie not allow
any more. It recommended that the government should educate Wrong verb form
allowed
people
about how dangers
is Replace the word
dangerous
this
Change the determiner
this movie
these movies
movies
and how it has a bad effect on their society.Submitted by sarraadel1551 on
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task achievement
Although the essay presents a clear stance and makes a good attempt to answer the question, it could do better in fully supporting its points with more specific examples and evidence.
coherence cohesion
The main ideas are logically structured, but there are some gaps in logical progression and connection between ideas. Work on creating smoother transitions between points.
task achievement
Grammatical errors are present and affect readability. Focus on subject-verb agreement and correct article usage.
task achievement
The essay does well to present a clear opinion on the topic and attempts to support it.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and aligned with the main body of the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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