Some people say that watching TV programmes and movies related to crime are popular. Why do you think it’s popular and how does it affect society?

Some individuals would argue that watching
TV
programmes and
movies
connected to
crime
an incredibly common.
This
essay totally
agree
Change the verb form
agrees
show examples
with that statement because there is a huge amount of
crime
movies
with a high number of views, and
this
would increase
Correct article usage
the violent
show examples
violent
Replace the word
violence
show examples
and
crime
rates
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Firstly
,
crime
movies
such
as
murders
Fix the agreement mistake
Murder
show examples
are
famouses
Correct your spelling
famous
on
TV
,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
makes many
people
watching
Wrong verb form
watch
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Moreover
,
this
type of
movies
Fix the agreement mistake
movie
show examples
has many famous actors,
therefore
, young
people
will watch it, and sometimes their role
modles
Correct your spelling
models
modules
are one of the actors.
This
will lead them to do similar actions, which
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
violent.
For example
, a recent survey found that the number of crimes increased after a famous criminal movie
published
Add a missing verb
was published
show examples
in Spain and that
lead
Replace the word
led
show examples
to a
big
Correct word choice
large
show examples
number of criminals.
In addition
,
people
interested
Add a missing verb
are interested
show examples
in these
crime
stories more than other stories, because it has interesting ideas and different actions
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
like a police search for a murder.
for
Capitalize word
For
show examples
that
people
enjoyed
Wrong verb form
enjoy
show examples
watching
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
for
entertaining
Replace the word
entertainment
show examples
. To tackle
this
problem the government should increase taxes
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
TV
channel owners and put policy for movie types,
this
will regulate what
people
watch and prevent young
people
to become
Change preposition
from becoming
show examples
criminals
due to
these
movies
. In conclusion, some
people
would argue that
TV
programmes and
movies
have
violents
Correct your spelling
violence
violent
,and
this
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
crime
rate
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. The best solution for
this
is
icreaseing
Correct your spelling
increasing
taxes for
TV
channel owners and
ensure
Wrong verb form
ensuring
show examples
this
type of movie not
allow
Wrong verb form
allowed
show examples
any more. It recommended that the government should educate
people
about how
dangers
Replace the word
dangerous
show examples
is
this
Change the determiner
this movie
these movies
show examples
movies
and how it has a bad effect on their society.
Submitted by sarraadel1551 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Although the essay presents a clear stance and makes a good attempt to answer the question, it could do better in fully supporting its points with more specific examples and evidence.
coherence cohesion
The main ideas are logically structured, but there are some gaps in logical progression and connection between ideas. Work on creating smoother transitions between points.
task achievement
Grammatical errors are present and affect readability. Focus on subject-verb agreement and correct article usage.
task achievement
The essay does well to present a clear opinion on the topic and attempts to support it.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and aligned with the main body of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Intricate plots
  • Suspenseful storytelling
  • Unexpected twists
  • Psychological appeal
  • Curiosity
  • Safe exploration
  • Criminal behavior
  • Relatability
  • Identification
  • Pursuit of justice
  • Moral dilemmas
  • Human struggle
  • Educational aspect
  • Law enforcement system
  • Practical self-defense tips
  • Raise awareness
  • Social commentary
  • Corruption
  • Inequality
  • Effectiveness of the justice system
What to do next:
Look at other essays: