IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows the distribution of different income groups in cities and regional centres of Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the distribution of different income groups in cities and regional centres of Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart depicts the distribution of income groups, namely low (40,000
dollars
Use synonyms
 or less), lower middle (40,00 - 70,000
dollars
Use synonyms
), middle (70,000 - 120,00
dollars
Use synonyms
), and high (120,000
dollars
Use synonyms
 or more) in the cities and the regional centres of Australia.
Overall
Linking Words
, both the items of the low and lower medium show a higher rate in the cities and the regional centres.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the options of medium and high account for less percentage, not surpassing 25%. Looking at the cities in detail, the intermediate range accounts for the highest percentage (35%), and the lower intermediate has a second rank (30%).
On the other hand
Linking Words
, high revenue makes up 20%, and its counterpart approximately constitutes 12.5%.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, in the regional centres, the proportion of the lower moderate has the highest rank (roughly 34%).
Next,
Linking Words
moderate earning represents about 21%, and the low wage rate approximately makes up 22%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the high income only accounts for 15%, with the lowest proportion.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words dollars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "moderate" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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