The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Throughout the past few decades,
science
Use synonyms
and its related aspects have been developing continuously, producing more benefits for the human race than ever before. I strongly agree that the outcome delivered by each research and development project should ultimately serve the
people
Use synonyms
in terms of improving their health and finances.
To begin
Linking Words
with, nowadays, sophisticated medical equipment has been invented to diagnose more life-threatening diseases like cancers, and treat them successfully.
As a result
Linking Words
of that,
people
Use synonyms
all around the world are having the benefits from them that they never knew before.
For instance
Linking Words
, a world-leading medical instrument manufacturer has invented a state-of-the-art algorithm that can be plugged into existing treatment devices called a proton accelerator and enhanced its
overall
Linking Words
capability in identifying cancers at their early stage.
In addition
Linking Words
, the effectiveness of drugs for certain diseases has
also
Linking Words
been enhanced for the sake of
science
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is evident that modern
science
Use synonyms
has contributed its positive inventions to improve our lives.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the financial situation attached to almost everyone in
this
Linking Words
world is being improved
as a result
Linking Words
of increased efficiency of production processes and features coming with consuming items.
This
Linking Words
trend has been developed by nothing but the contribution of modern
science
Use synonyms
and technology in manufacturing processes.
For example
Linking Words
, in the present days, the time to manufacture a motor vehicle is much lower than in the early days.
Moreover
Linking Words
, because contemporary consumable items are developed with competitive features, opportunities are abundant in the local and international markets. In conclusion, the role of modern
science
Use synonyms
could have devoted its contribution to boosting the financial condition of
people
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, because of its ultimate role in enhancing the effect of health and finances
that is
Linking Words
in turn related to
people
Use synonyms
's lives directly, I believe that
science
Use synonyms
and its related developments must be used in the aforementioned two areas to improve the lives of
people
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by minhlieu.hnd on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay successfully addresses the task and provides a clear stance on the issue. However, your main points and explanations could be more elaborately developed to achieve higher precision and depth.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. The logical structure is good, but more explicit signposting between ideas would help to enhance readability.
task achievement
Consider refining your examples further to directly link them to the point you are making. While your examples are relevant, they could be integrated more effectively with your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both well-presented and effectively summarize your stance on the topic. This provides a clear frame for your essay.
task achievement
You provide a relevant and clear stance, making it easy for the reader to understand your position.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: