it is important for everyone including young people, to save money for their future. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

the

important

Replace the word

importance

show examples

of saving

money

for the future is a principle that has been widely advocated , encompassing individuals across all age groups, including young

people

. I fully agree with the statement that it is essential for everyone to save

money

for their future.

This

essay will explore the reasons for

this

stance and provide relevant examples to support the argument.

Firstly

, saving

money

from a young age cultivates financial

disclipline

Correct your spelling

discipline

and responsibility.When young

people

learn to manage their finances early, they develop habits that can lead to

long -term

Correct your spelling

long-term

show examples

financial stability. By understanding the value of

money

and the importance of budgeting , they are better prepared to handle financial challenges in adulthood.

For instance

, young adults who save regularly are better positioned to invest in opportunities

such

as higher education,

homeowership

Correct your spelling

homeownership

, or starting a business.

Secondly

, saving

money

provides a safety net for unforeseen circumstances. Life is unpredictable, and emergencies

sush

Correct your spelling

such

medical

Add an article

a medical

show examples

issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

show examples

, Job

loss

Fix the agreement mistake

losses

show examples

, or

unpected

Correct your spelling

unexpected

expenses can arise at any time. Having savings can alleviate the stress associated with these situations and provide financial security.

For example

, during the

Covid-19

Correct your spelling

COVID-19

show examples

pandemic, many individuals who had savings were able to cope better with the economic uncertainties compared to those without any financial buffer. In conclusion, saving

money

is a vital

pratice

Correct your spelling

practice

for everyone , including young

people

. it fosters financial discipline,

providers

Replace the word

provides

show examples

a safety net, benefits from compound interest, and helps

acheive

Correct your spelling

achieve

life goals.

while

it is essential to save , it is equally important to find a balance that allows young

people

to enjoy their present

while

preparing for a secure future.

Submitted by viewsoysoongnern on Tue Jul 30 2024

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task achievement

Try to avoid repeating the phrase 'young people' excessively. Use synonyms or rephrase sentences to maintain variety and engagement.

task achievement

Ensure that all supporting examples are fully developed and well-integrated into the argument to strengthen your points.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to spelling and typographical errors, such as 'disclipline' (discipline), 'homeowership' (homeownership), 'sush' (such), 'Job loss' (job loss), 'unpected' (unexpected), 'pratice' (practice), 'acheive' (achieve) and 'providers' (provides).

coherence cohesion

Improve logical transitions between paragraphs to enhance the overall flow of the essay.

coherence cohesion

The essay presents a well-structured introduction and conclusion, clearly indicating the main argument and summarizing key points effectively.

task achievement

The argument that saving money from a young age cultivates financial discipline and responsibility is well-articulated and supported with concrete examples.

task achievement

The essay acknowledges the importance of balancing present enjoyment with future financial security, which adds depth to the argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial security
safety net
unforeseen circumstances
emergencies
future investments
retirement planning
financial discipline
habit of saving
amassing wealth
substantial fund
opportunity cost
additional income
inflation
purchasing power

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it is important for everyone including young people, to save money for their future. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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The picture shows the rates of smoking in Someland by men and women. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make the comparison where relevant. Write at least 150 words.