it is important for everyone including young people, to save money for their future. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

the
important
Replace the word
importance
show examples
of saving
money
for the future is a principle that has been widely advocated , encompassing individuals across all age groups, including young
people
. I fully agree with the statement that it is essential for everyone to save
money
for their future.
This
essay will explore the reasons for
this
stance and provide relevant examples to support the argument.
Firstly
, saving
money
from a young age cultivates financial
disclipline
Correct your spelling
discipline
and responsibility.When young
people
learn to manage their finances early, they develop habits that can lead to
long -term
Correct your spelling
long-term
show examples
financial stability. By understanding the value of
money
and the importance of budgeting , they are better prepared to handle financial challenges in adulthood.
For instance
, young adults who save regularly are better positioned to invest in opportunities
such
as higher education,
homeowership
Correct your spelling
homeownership
, or starting a business.
Secondly
, saving
money
provides a safety net for unforeseen circumstances. Life is unpredictable, and emergencies
sush
Correct your spelling
such
as
medical
Add an article
a medical
show examples
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
, Job
loss
Fix the agreement mistake
losses
show examples
, or
unpected
Correct your spelling
unexpected
expenses can arise at any time. Having savings can alleviate the stress associated with these situations and provide financial security.
For example
, during the
Covid-19
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
show examples
pandemic, many individuals who had savings were able to cope better with the economic uncertainties compared to those without any financial buffer. In conclusion, saving
money
is a vital
pratice
Correct your spelling
practice
for everyone , including young
people
. it fosters financial discipline,
providers
Replace the word
provides
show examples
a safety net, benefits from compound interest, and helps
acheive
Correct your spelling
achieve
life goals.
while
it is essential to save , it is equally important to find a balance that allows young
people
to enjoy their present
while
preparing for a secure future.
Submitted by viewsoysoongnern on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to avoid repeating the phrase 'young people' excessively. Use synonyms or rephrase sentences to maintain variety and engagement.
task achievement
Ensure that all supporting examples are fully developed and well-integrated into the argument to strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to spelling and typographical errors, such as 'disclipline' (discipline), 'homeowership' (homeownership), 'sush' (such), 'Job loss' (job loss), 'unpected' (unexpected), 'pratice' (practice), 'acheive' (achieve) and 'providers' (provides).
coherence cohesion
Improve logical transitions between paragraphs to enhance the overall flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a well-structured introduction and conclusion, clearly indicating the main argument and summarizing key points effectively.
task achievement
The argument that saving money from a young age cultivates financial discipline and responsibility is well-articulated and supported with concrete examples.
task achievement
The essay acknowledges the importance of balancing present enjoyment with future financial security, which adds depth to the argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
What to do next:
Look at other essays: