it is important for everyone including young people, to save money for their future. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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the
important
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importance
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of saving
money
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for the future is a principle that has been widely advocated , encompassing individuals across all age groups, including young
people
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. I fully agree with the statement that it is essential for everyone to save
money
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for their future.
This
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essay will explore the reasons for
this
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stance and provide relevant examples to support the argument.
Firstly
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, saving
money
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from a young age cultivates financial
disclipline
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discipline
and responsibility.When young
people
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learn to manage their finances early, they develop habits that can lead to
long -term
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long-term
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financial stability. By understanding the value of
money
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and the importance of budgeting , they are better prepared to handle financial challenges in adulthood.
For instance
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, young adults who save regularly are better positioned to invest in opportunities
such
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as higher education,
homeowership
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homeownership
, or starting a business.
Secondly
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, saving
money
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provides a safety net for unforeseen circumstances. Life is unpredictable, and emergencies
sush
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such
as
medical
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a medical
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issue
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issues
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, Job
loss
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losses
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, or
unpected
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unexpected
expenses can arise at any time. Having savings can alleviate the stress associated with these situations and provide financial security.
For example
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, during the
Covid-19
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COVID-19
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pandemic, many individuals who had savings were able to cope better with the economic uncertainties compared to those without any financial buffer. In conclusion, saving
money
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is a vital
pratice
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practice
for everyone , including young
people
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. it fosters financial discipline,
providers
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provides
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a safety net, benefits from compound interest, and helps
acheive
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achieve
life goals.
while
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it is essential to save , it is equally important to find a balance that allows young
people
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to enjoy their present
while
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preparing for a secure future.
Submitted by viewsoysoongnern on

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task achievement
Try to avoid repeating the phrase 'young people' excessively. Use synonyms or rephrase sentences to maintain variety and engagement.
task achievement
Ensure that all supporting examples are fully developed and well-integrated into the argument to strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to spelling and typographical errors, such as 'disclipline' (discipline), 'homeowership' (homeownership), 'sush' (such), 'Job loss' (job loss), 'unpected' (unexpected), 'pratice' (practice), 'acheive' (achieve) and 'providers' (provides).
coherence cohesion
Improve logical transitions between paragraphs to enhance the overall flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a well-structured introduction and conclusion, clearly indicating the main argument and summarizing key points effectively.
task achievement
The argument that saving money from a young age cultivates financial discipline and responsibility is well-articulated and supported with concrete examples.
task achievement
The essay acknowledges the importance of balancing present enjoyment with future financial security, which adds depth to the argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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