These days it is neither possible nor desirable for most people to stay in the same job throughout their working life. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In a modern
word
Correct your spelling
world
show examples
, there is no
deny
Change the form of the verb
denying
show examples
that everyone
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
desired for a good
career
path. There is a statement that keeping the same
job
for one entire working life
normal
Add a missing verb
is normal
show examples
and should be encouraged. It
is disagreed
Change to the active voice
disagrees
has disagreed
show examples
that doing
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
job
is a healthy style of developing
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
career
path. Analysing the
oppotunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
career
development,
as well as
the rising of
techonological
Correct your spelling
technological
change
will prove
this
.
Firstly
, a person with multiple
job
changes can build up an experience background for
future
career
progression and personal growth.
For instance
, it is widely known that employers prefer experienced senior level
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
employees over other junior or newly graduated students. An
experience
Change the verb form
experienced
show examples
staff from any previous
company
has a better overview of any situation,
mistakes
Correct word choice
and mistakes
show examples
that
already
Add a missing verb
have already
show examples
learned
Add a missing verb
been learned
show examples
, and does not take too much time
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
company
on the trial phase.
Therefore
,
this
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
clear that
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
with multiple background
company
will always have a better
career
advancement.
Secondly
, with the fast growth of
techonology nowsaday
Correct your spelling
technology nowadays
, an employee that not willing to
change
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
can
be easily replaces
Change the verb form
be easily replaced
show examples
by
machine
Correct article usage
a machine
show examples
in the
future
.
For example
, with the development of ChatGPT, many positions in content creator
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
have been altered, namely artist, graphic
design
Replace the word
designer
show examples
,
scriptor
Correct your spelling
script
, and many more to come in the
future
. The growth of technology is an inevitable
change
, and human can only
adopted
Verb problem
adapt
show examples
to the situation by learning new skills,
promoted
Add a missing verb
being promoted
show examples
to a new level of seniority, or changing their
company
in case of being replaced.
Thus
it
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
is still a long way until AI can fully replace
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
daily work, it is our responsibility to accept the current situation and move forward to the
future
with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
techonological
Correct your spelling
technological
change
. To summarize, jobs nowadays
required
Wrong verb form
require
show examples
people to learn and progress
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
and adapt to the technology advancement.
Therefore
,
it is clear that
doing the same
job
for an entire working life cannot be supported. After thorough analysis
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
subject, it is predicted that jobs
future
may be
uncertant
Correct your spelling
uncertain
, human need to adapt
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
their careers by
improve
Change the verb form
improving
show examples
themselve
Correct your spelling
themselves
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
.
Submitted by xbinh91 on

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task achievement
Your essay covers the main points relevant to the topic, but the ideas are not always fully developed. For instance, elaborate more on how changing jobs enhances career development and provide diverse examples.
coherence cohesion
Improve the fluency and accuracy of your ideas by refining sentence structure and grammar. For example, the sentence 'There is no deny that everyone are desired for a good career path' could be corrected to 'There is no denying that everyone desires a good career path.'
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow between sentences and sections. Use linking phrases to enhance the essay's coherence and make transitions smoother. For instance, words like 'Moreover' or 'Additionally' could help in connecting ideas better.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states the topic and your stance, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
You present relevant and logical arguments supporting your viewpoint, such as the impact of technological changes on job roles.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your opinion, bringing your essay to a coherent close.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • career advancement
  • personal growth
  • technological advancements
  • job satisfaction
  • financial stability
  • skill diversification
  • versatile employees
  • economic factors
  • industry shifts
  • work-life balance
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