The chart below gives information about hoe families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart  below gives information about hoe families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2019. 

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart given illustrates data about families and their weekly
wages
and
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
what various goods and services they
choose
Wrong verb form
chose
show examples
to spend their money
between
Change preposition
on between
show examples
1968 and 2018. It can be seen that in 1968, people have
spend
Change the verb form
spent
show examples
most of their income on food,
while
in 2018 the proportion of
wages
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
on food has decreased over the years.
Whereas
, the housing category showed a significant
risen
Replace the word
rise
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in 2018.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
show examples
the proportion of salary
spend
Change the form of the verb
spent
show examples
on household goods remained the same over the period given. The food section was ranked first in the class hitting its peak in 1968 with 35% of
wages
spend
Change the form of the verb
spent
show examples
on it, over time the proportion has fluctuated over 15% in 2018.
In contrast
, the housing category displayed an upward trend from
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
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10% in 1968 to almost 20% in 2018. In 2018, families
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
less of their
wages
on personal goods hitting almost 5%,
while
in 1968, families
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
less on fuel and power section hitting over 5%.
Submitted by annaungureanu794 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words wages with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure
  • disposable income
  • percentage of income
  • weekly income
  • significant change
  • notable decline
  • substantial increase
  • shift in lifestyle preferences
  • cultural attitudes
  • rising costs
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