An increasingly number of professionals , such as doctors and teachers , are leaving their own poorer countries yo work in developed countries . What problems does this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation ?
Nowadays , There is no doubt many working professionals
such
as doctors ,engineers and teachers are relocating from their own country
to another nation
to get better
life. In Add an article
a better
this
essay , I will explain the problem from this
trend and solution
of Correct article usage
the solution
this
problem i.e. what can be done to avoid this
trend.
To begin
with , Many working professional
are Change to a plural noun
professionals
shifiting
to different countries for many reasons Correct your spelling
shifting
such
as high income, security and standard of living.In addition
, people
want money to lead a happy life and if they are not able to get enough amount as per their experience and education then
only they decide to move into
another Change preposition
to
country
. For Example
,One of my friend
recently shifted to Change to a plural noun
friends
canada
because she got a lucrative job offer almost four times higher than her current package, so she Change the capitalization
Canada
grab
Wrong verb form
grabbed
this
opportunity and shifted in
Canada.
Change preposition
to
Secondly
, It would be difficult for a nation
to boost their
economy, if all educated and talented Correct pronoun usage
its
resouces
Correct your spelling
resources
move
from there. Wrong verb form
moved
For Instance
, A study revealed that a
Japanese Correct article usage
apply
people
do not leave their country
because they are getting all facilities
in their home Correct article usage
the facilities
nation
only and as a
result
Japan is one of the most developed Add a comma
result,
nation
in the entire world.
Change to a plural noun
nations
To Conclude
, I suggest that a
government should take some Correct article usage
the
neccesary
action to stop Correct your spelling
necessary
moving
of educated Correct article usage
the moving
people
from their native country
to developed
Correct article usage
a developed
country
like recognisition
of work ,awards, Correct your spelling
recognition
relaxation
Correct word choice
and relaxation
in
tax and medical facilities. I believe that if talented Change preposition
of
people
are leaving country
Add an article
the country
then
it will definitely, affect in
the growth of the Change preposition
apply
nation
.Submitted by preetiaug25 on
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task achievement
Your essay touches on the topic and addresses the problems and solutions, but it could delve deeper into the issues. For example, mentioning the impact on healthcare and education systems in poorer countries when professionals leave would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences could be clearer. For example, "it will definitely affect in the growth of the nation". Simplifying language and fixing grammatical issues can improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within the paragraph support that idea. For instance, the first body paragraph could benefit from explicitly linking your example back to the idea of professionals moving for better opportunities.
coherence cohesion
You've provided a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps the reader follow your argument.
task achievement
You have included a relevant example about your friend moving to Canada, which makes your argument more concrete and relatable.
task achievement
Your suggestion of government interventions like recognition of work, awards, tax relaxation, and medical facilities is practical and well-thought-out.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.