Some people think that schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvement. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

schools are
competetive
Correct your spelling
competitive
environments where all
students
want to
show-off
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show off
show examples
their skills;
concequently
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consequently
,
somepeople
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some people
believe that schools should reward their best
achivers
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achievers
.
conversly
Correct your spelling
Conversely
, others believe that
students
who show improvements are more
deservnig
Correct your spelling
deserving
, since they worked harder than anyone else .
this
essay will examine both views and argue that
students
who improve over time are more likely to benefit from the
recognetion
Correct your spelling
recognition
of their hard work. on
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
hand, the
students
who manage
excell
Correct your spelling
excel
in their studies
certenly
Correct your spelling
certainly
had to work hard and study
while
their peers were wasting time. which means that not only they are entitled to the rewards but
also
means
Verb problem
apply
show examples
that rewarding them would make them an idol for other
students
:
this
is because in the nature of humans, knowing that
an actions
Correct the article-noun agreement
actions
an action
show examples
will have positive
consequenses
Correct your spelling
consequences
motivate
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motivates
show examples
you to do it.
on the other hand
,
students
who improved are just as entitled to the reward because they worked just as hard , if not even harder; since these
students
initially
had lower
knowlege
Correct your spelling
knowledge
, they had to compensate by countless hours of
studyig
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studying
.
thus
Capitalize word
Thus
show examples
,if their efforts were not recognized they are probably going to lose hope and stop trying.
additionaly
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Additionally
, they are
better
Add an article
a better
the better
show examples
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
show examples
for
thei
Correct your spelling
their
the
peers since they sprout from the same circumstances. to conclude, both types of
students
have shown to be
deservent
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deserving
of
reconession
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recession
; the best
achivers
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achievers
archivers
have
distigushed
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distinguished
themselves from others,
while
improvers have worked hard and
came
Wrong verb form
come
show examples
a long way.
nevertheless
,rewarding those
how
Correct word choice
who
show examples
improve
Add the particle
to improve
show examples
benefits the majority because
students
are likely to take someone who once was in their
palce
Correct your spelling
place
as an example rather than a student who
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
always
showed
Change the verb form
shown
show examples
ablities
Correct your spelling
abilities
that are way out of their reach
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
Submitted by wd2288402 on

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language
There are several spelling and grammatical errors which occasionally impede understanding. Make sure to proofread your work and consider using tools or seeking help to catch and correct these mistakes.
coherence
The logical structure of your essay could be improved by using paragraphing more effectively. Ensure each paragraph contains one main idea and supports this idea with clear arguments or examples.
task response
Include relevant and specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments more compelling and show a deeper understanding of the topic.
introduction conclusion
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, outlining the main points of both viewpoints and your own opinion.
task response
Your essay addresses both viewpoints, demonstrating an understanding of the complexity of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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