IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many young people choose to take a year out between finishing school and starting university to gain work experience or to travel. Discuss the benefits of non-academic life this offers.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is undeniable that education is an inseparable part of individuals
due to
Linking Words
 all its effects on knowledge and personalities. It is argued that it would be beneficial for pupils, during the transformation of their academic degrees from a school to
university
Use synonyms
, to take a break
time
Use synonyms
 before entering the
university
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will elaborate
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 advantages of
this
Linking Words
 determination broadly. It is universally accepted that
academic
Correct article usage
the academic
show examples
 journey has been accompanied by being exposed to
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
 pressure of school subjects. Taking a rest
time
Use synonyms
 before entering
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
university
Use synonyms
, through
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
, will be psychologically a brilliant opportunity to recover mental health and relieve stress and
also
Linking Words
 prepare for the next higher degree.
For example
Linking Words
,
Iranian’s
Change noun form
Iranian
show examples
 students should take a
university
Use synonyms
 entrance exam, namely Konkur; the anxiety of
this
Linking Words
 exam is unbearably indescribable
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 bothers all families,
hence
Linking Words
, a vacation could assist them in depleting
nervous
Replace the word
nervousness
show examples
 caused by the test.
Therefore
Linking Words
, Iranian authorities have determined
four-month
Correct your spelling
four months of
show examples
 free non-academic
time
Use synonyms
 for students before initiating the universities.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it would benefit pupils to be skilled. As a plethora of fields are being taught at universities,
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
having an internship
along with
Linking Words
 interesting fields could provide a wide perspective for scholars to follow their dream fields and
consequently
Linking Words
 their appealing occupations.
In addition
Linking Words
, participating in actual work experience could enhance their knowledge of their studied field and
also
Linking Words
 promote their future resumes.
For instance
Linking Words
, students who opt for
chemical
Correct article usage
the chemical
show examples
 engineering field could pave their academic way by interning in chemical production factories and observing the facilities and each
parts’
Change noun form
part’s
show examples
 duties.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the necessity of education is unavoidable,
however
Linking Words
, the way of passing it would be individually various. Considering a break
time
Use synonyms
 could be a helpful solution not only to enrich related skills to the selected field but
also
Linking Words
 to refresh mentality.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay would benefit from a clearer thesis statement in the introduction. While the topic is introduced well, the specific advantages you will discuss should be briefly mentioned to set the stage for the reader.
task achievement
Try to ensure each point is explained thoroughly and examples are fully developed. The example about Iranian students and university entrance exams is good, but the second example about chemical engineering could be expanded to be more illustrative.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and improve sentence structure for even greater clarity and precision. For example, instead of 'being exposed to high pressure of school subjects,' you could say, 'facing the rigorous demands of school subjects.'
task achievement
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for discussing the advantages of taking a year out between school and university.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized and follows a logical structure, making it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your concluding paragraph succinctly summarizes your main points and reinforces your argument effectively.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: