Many young people choose to take a year out between finishing school and starting university to gain work experience or to travel. Discuss the benefits of non-academic life this offers.

It is undeniable that education is an inseparable part of individuals
due to
all its effects on knowledge and personalities. It is argued that it would be beneficial for pupils, during the transformation of their academic degrees from a school to
university
, to take a break
time
before entering the
university
.
This
essay will elaborate
the
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on the
show examples
advantages of
this
determination broadly. It is universally accepted that
academic
Correct article usage
the academic
show examples
journey has been accompanied by being exposed to
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
pressure of school subjects. Taking a rest
time
before entering
to
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apply
show examples
a
university
, through
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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, will be psychologically a brilliant opportunity to recover mental health and relieve stress and
also
prepare for the next higher degree.
For example
,
Iranian’s
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Iranian
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students should take a
university
entrance exam, namely Konkur; the anxiety of
this
exam is unbearably indescribable
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
bothers all families,
hence
, a vacation could assist them in depleting
nervous
Replace the word
nervousness
show examples
caused by the test.
Therefore
, Iranian authorities have determined
four-month
Correct your spelling
four months of
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free non-academic
time
for students before initiating the universities.
On the other hand
, it would benefit pupils to be skilled. As a plethora of fields are being taught at universities,
so
Correct word choice
apply
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having an internship
along with
interesting fields could provide a wide perspective for scholars to follow their dream fields and
consequently
their appealing occupations.
In addition
, participating in actual work experience could enhance their knowledge of their studied field and
also
promote their future resumes.
For instance
, students who opt for
chemical
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the chemical
show examples
engineering field could pave their academic way by interning in chemical production factories and observing the facilities and each
parts’
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part’s
show examples
duties.
To conclude
, the necessity of education is unavoidable,
however
, the way of passing it would be individually various. Considering a break
time
could be a helpful solution not only to enrich related skills to the selected field but
also
to refresh mentality.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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task achievement
Your essay would benefit from a clearer thesis statement in the introduction. While the topic is introduced well, the specific advantages you will discuss should be briefly mentioned to set the stage for the reader.
task achievement
Try to ensure each point is explained thoroughly and examples are fully developed. The example about Iranian students and university entrance exams is good, but the second example about chemical engineering could be expanded to be more illustrative.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and improve sentence structure for even greater clarity and precision. For example, instead of 'being exposed to high pressure of school subjects,' you could say, 'facing the rigorous demands of school subjects.'
task achievement
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for discussing the advantages of taking a year out between school and university.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized and follows a logical structure, making it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your concluding paragraph succinctly summarizes your main points and reinforces your argument effectively.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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