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Band 3.5

Alternative energy sources that use the natural power of the wind, wave and sun are too expensive and complicated to replace the coal, oil and gas that we use to power our cities and transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#alternative #energy #sources #power #wind #wave #sun #oil #gas #cities #transport
In the modern days alot of contys trying to shift their sources of
energies
 from oil and gas to a more clean energy,In my opinion i see future without oil and gas and that
due to
 the huge harms wich caused by it,Allover the world people struggle from global warming and camichals bad effects,In order to uses the clean energy with a lower prices we need to creat a new form of it and that only possible it we educate a new minds,If collges star a new paragram for energys invents we could finish the prices problems,Countrys need to put more money in
energies
 consider it as a long term investment,The world pays worst price when we do not ues right sources,At knowdays we would be great
however
 surely soon it will collapse no lives going to be
due to
 the enviroment issues,If we want to be more hopefull we need to think of the good sides of the clean
energies
,a better world would surely be when there are Healthier people And healthier people exists with cleaner environments,
also
 Considering animls and plants we have to move the a cleaner
energies
 with any costs.
Submitted by 12gna13 on

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introduction conclusion
Your essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. A well-structured essay should have an opening paragraph and a closing paragraph to frame your discussion.
logical structure
You need to organize your ideas into coherent paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea that supports your argument.
relevant specific examples
Use more specific examples to back up your points. For example, mention specific countries that are successfully using alternative energy sources or provide statistics related to energy costs.
clear comprehensive ideas
Try to avoid using informal language and ensure your sentences are well-punctuated. This will make your essay easier to read and more formally appropriate for an academic setting.
supported main points
Your focus on the environmental and health benefits of alternative energy is strong and relevant. These are important points that support your argument well.
complete response
The overall intent to advocate for cleaner energy is clear. This shows your understanding of the task and the significance of the subject matter.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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