IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The demand for coaching services has grown significantly in the digital age, with online coaching platforms becoming prevalent. Some now feel online coaching is a superior option to in-person coach. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In the modern era, education plays an integral role in the learning of human
being
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beings
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. The necessity of coaching centres increased with the decrease in online learning services.
While
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,
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apply
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 online studying become
ideal
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more ideal
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 than offline.
This
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 essay will analyse disagreement on
above
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the above
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 statement
along with
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 reasons in the subsequent paragraphs. Certainly, an association of multifarious reasons behind
in person
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in-person
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 teaching benefits.
However
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, first and foremost is supervision and personal guidance. To explain it more, tutors are
expertise
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experts
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 in grasping the
leaning
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learning
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 ability of each student
that
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and
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provides
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provide
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betree
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better
 ways of
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studies
Wrong verb form
studying
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 as per their intellectual power.
Leaners
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Leaner
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 queries curbed under the supervision of mentors that make the pedagogic environment more amusing. In the survey of 2019 around 60% of Indian schools believe that engage with enthusiasm
while
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 they study with other peers,
thus
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 virtual qualities
such
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 as discipline, tandem, social skills and patience escalate in them.
Subsequently
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, another factor that with worth mentioning is
lack
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the lack
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 of technical issues and
enhance
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enhanced
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 concentration. To elaborate on it, online classes often interrupt
studies
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 with software glitches and networking issues that
makes
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make
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 learning annoying.
Whereas
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, offline coaching assists students to concentrate on their
studies
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 without indulging in trivial works. Leaners
also
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 enhance the skills
such
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 as verbal communication and confidence.
For instance
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,
according to
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2022
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a 2022
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 survey around 40%
USA
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of USA
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 beginners
misguided
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are misguided
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 in curriculum
due to
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 technical issues that
leads
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lead
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 to distraction in unethical activities. In conclusion, people should maintain
balance
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a balance
the balance
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 between offline and online learning.
Although
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, internet
studies
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provides
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provide
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 umpteen advantages
but
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apply
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the limitations create
hurdle
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hurdles
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 in the path of learning. Individuals must pay equal attention to both aspects to augment a bright future.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear argument against the superiority of online coaching over offline coaching, backing it up with relevant points and examples. However, there are language issues, such as awkward phrasing and grammatical mistakes, that impair clarity. Work on improving sentence structure and grammar to enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
The essay flows logically, with ideas presented in a clear sequence. However, there are areas where transitions between points can be smoother. Ensure each paragraph logically follows the previous one, with clear transitional phrases to guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and conclusion, which frame the argument effectively. However, the introduction could more clearly outline the main points that will be discussed, and the conclusion could be stronger by summarizing the main arguments more effectively.
task achievement
You effectively present main points against online coaching, such as the benefits of personal guidance and the reduction of technical issues, which show your understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your conclusion ties the essay together by emphasizing the need to balance online and offline learning, reflecting a thoughtful consideration of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which aids in the reader’s understanding of your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • virtual platforms
  • interactive sessions
  • personalized learning
  • multimedia resources
  • asynchronous communication
  • cost-efficient
  • impersonal
  • connectivity issues
  • hands-on experience
  • data protection
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