Unemployment is one of the biggest problems of contemporary society. What do you think are the main causes of unemployment? What solutions can you suggest?

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Unemployment has become one of the biggest problems of modern society. I think the main
causes
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cause
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of unemployment is the pressure of finding the
right
job
after studies and fitting
in
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into
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the work culture. In general,
people
experience
a
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apply
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high pressure to find a
job
after their studies.
Due to
inflexible
job
specification
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specifications
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, asking for years of
experience
for
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, for
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example, it is difficult for them to get a
job
right
after university that matches
the
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their
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study. They stay unemployed
as a result
, waiting for the
right
vacancy.
In addition
,
to fit
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fitting
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in
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into
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a work culture can be hard regarding the match of the
job
with educational papers.
People
who practise their jobs for years are being fired because of the harsh requirements of having a finished degree. They got the
job
decades ago because the whole industry was different back in the
days
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day
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.
This
causes a problematic situation in which an individual with a lot of
experience
and knowledge is not able to find a
job
because of not having a certificate. Yet, almost every company has open vacancies. To combat the problem of unemployment, companies should start assessing
people
at the
job
interview. In
this
way, both
company
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the company
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and
individual
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the individual
show examples
know about the expectations and tasks. It is crucial to tackle the obstacles around the achieved degree because it can be a large burden for
people
to stay motivated after being declined at
job
interviews. To summarise, I think
people
are not able to meet the requirements of
job
descriptions after their studies and are unemployed
as a result
. At the same time, the work culture is changing and valuable professionals become unemployed because they do not have the
right
papers. I think changing the way of doing
job
interviews and lowering the
job
requirements will enable
people
to show their knowledge and
experience
.
Submitted by maria.vanwell on

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task achievement
The essay addresses the task and provides a clear response to the questions, discussing both causes and solutions of unemployment. However, it would benefit from more relevant and specific examples to enhance the arguments.
task achievement
Some ideas are a bit generic. Try to add more specific and detailed points or examples to illustrate your arguments better, particularly in terms of the pressures faced by job seekers.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that all sentences within the paragraph contribute to the development of that idea. This will help improve the logical flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Transition phrases could be used more effectively to make the essay flow more smoothly from one point to the next.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each section addresses a specific part of the task.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay, providing a cohesive end to the piece.
task achievement
The essay offers a broad overview of possible causes and solutions for unemployment, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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