The percentage of overweight children in western societies has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the possible causes and effects of this disturbing trend and offer solution.

#percentage #children #societies #ten #years #effects #trend #offer

The

statictic

Correct your spelling

statistic

statistics

reflexes

Correct your spelling

reflects

show examples

the reality, and the reality is a massive increase of

overwighted

Correct your spelling

overweight

overweighted

kids all around the world. We have been witnessing

the

Correct article usage

show examples

puzzling situation with fast

food

and other types of non-organic

food

. Over 20 per cent increase of younger generation has been

sufferinf

Correct your spelling

suffering

from obesity for the

last

decade shows the

trand

Correct your spelling

trend

. In

this

essay we will consider a list of efforts and potential

solution

Fix the agreement mistake

solutions

show examples

we could have come up with. It is understandable that kids in

western

Add an article

the western

show examples

part of Earth get

overwight

Correct your spelling

overweight

because we, as a society, face

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

unhealthy

food

spreading

Verb problem

apply

show examples

. There are at least 5 bad efforts

Change preposition

of juck

show examples

juck

Correct your spelling

junk

food

includes

such

as addictive additives,

conveniency

Correct your spelling

convenience

, superstars endorsement, low level of nutrition literacy and a lack of

home-made

Correct your spelling

homemade

show examples

food

options.

Moreover

modern

Correct article usage

the modern

show examples

peranting

Correct your spelling

parenting

style does not include limits related to

overconsumtion

Correct your spelling

overconsumption

over-consumption

calories

Change preposition

of calories

show examples

and other fat elements. As far as we can, we have to

inhance

Correct your spelling

improve

our future

generation

Change noun form

generation's

show examples

diets and their

lifestile

Correct your spelling

lives

Change preposition

through

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

coordinated effort. As a solution, if you ask

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

a question

how

Change preposition

about how

show examples

we can diminish

this

horrable

Correct your spelling

horrible

statistic I would apparently bring up an idea in terms of an educational point of view. From

this

perspective

Add a comma

perspective,

show examples

we could impact

Change preposition

apply

show examples

children’s minds

through

Change preposition

show examples

telling

what

Correct pronoun usage

them what

show examples

to eat from

deferent

Correct your spelling

different

show examples

sides.

For instance

, the government should

allucate

Correct your spelling

allocate

bugdet

Correct your spelling

budget

to schools in order to integrate health-education classes. School

administraion

Correct your spelling

administration

has to work on it with

studiends

Correct your spelling

students

studies

and

avoide

Correct your spelling

avoid

boring

aprouch

Correct your spelling

approach

to these programs.

Finaly

Correct your spelling

Finally

, family

mambers

Correct your spelling

members

are the primary influencers in

child’s

Correct article usage

a child’s

show examples

life so they must teach little guys as much as it is possible.

To conclude

, in spite of the fact that the

reallity

Correct your spelling

reality

tells us the lack of

perspectiveness

Correct your spelling

perspectives

, we

sould

Correct your spelling

should

could

pay attention to our kids and what they actually eat. The more organisations involved in

process

Add an article

the process

show examples

, the better result we could get. Education is simple when it becomes friendly and consistent.

Submitted by saladinrostislav on Tue Jul 30 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

To improve your task achievement, ensure you address all parts of the question comprehensively. Your essay discusses causes and possible solutions, but lacks specific examples to support your points.

coherence cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, work on organizing your ideas more logically. Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure each point flows smoothly into the next.

language accuracy

Enhance your language accuracy to avoid minor errors that can affect clarity. Revise for spelling, grammar, and syntactical errors to improve overall readability.

task achievement

Your essay covers both causes and potential solutions to the problem, which shows a clear understanding of the task requirements.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present and provide a good framework for your essay.

lexical resource

You demonstrate a decent range of vocabulary and attempt to use complex sentences, which is commendable.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
46Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

313 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
It is very expensive to restore old buildings,and it would be better to spend this money on new houses .To what extent do you agree ?
Today we want talk about refurbishmant buildings, you know resorte or make a new house is very important for some reason,
6
band
At present, the media affects people’s lives significantly. What impact thus this have on society? Is it a negative or positive development?
Individual’s lives are affected greatly due to media such as newspapers, magazines and the Internet. Media sources assist the society in gaining updated news and I wholeheartedly believe that it is a positive development because it is helpful in avoiding many life risks as well.
<4
band
Young people are often influenced in their behavior by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important while others feel it has distinct disadvantages. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh advantages?
The maps provide key information about the enhancement across a period of time.
6.5
band
At some locations an increase in the production of consumer good results in damage of our natural environment. What are the causes and solution ?
It is an undeniable fact that the environment plays a crucial role in an individual life. However, due to increased manufacturing of consumer products, this leads to detrimental effects on the environment. Overpopulation and deforestation are the main reasons although reforestation and energy-efficient goods are the solutions to this trend. This essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons.
4.5
band
Grandparents play a big role in bringing up the children. Do you think it is useful for grandparents? Discuss reasons with your opinion and give relevant examples.
Elders in family have been regarded as a blessing in many cultures and often they play crucial rolls in upbringing of the grandchildren. In my opinion, it is fruitful for both the grandparents and for offsprings too. The reasons to support my stance are elaborated in the following paragraphs.

The percentage of overweight children in western societies has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the possible causes and effects of this disturbing trend and offer solution.

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

It is very expensive to restore old buildings,and it would be better to spend this money on new houses .To what extent do you agree ?

At present, the media affects people’s lives significantly. What impact thus this have on society? Is it a negative or positive development?

Young people are often influenced in their behavior by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important while others feel it has distinct disadvantages. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh advantages?

At some locations an increase in the production of consumer good results in damage of our natural environment. What are the causes and solution ?

Grandparents play a big role in bringing up the children. Do you think it is useful for grandparents? Discuss reasons with your opinion and give relevant examples.