The percentage of overweight children in western societies has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the possible causes and effects of this disturbing trend and offer solution.

#percentage #children #societies #ten #years #effects #trend #offer

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The

statictic

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statistic

statistics

reflexes

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reflects

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the reality, and the reality is a massive increase of

overwighted

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overweight

overweighted

kids all around the world. We have been witnessing

the

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show examples

puzzling situation with fast

food

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and other types of non-organic

food

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. Over 20 per cent increase of younger generation has been

sufferinf

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suffering

from obesity for the

last

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decade shows the

trand

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trend

. In

this

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essay we will consider a list of efforts and potential

solution

Fix the agreement mistake

solutions

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we could have come up with. It is understandable that kids in

western

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the western

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part of Earth get

overwight

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overweight

because we, as a society, face

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apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

unhealthy

food

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spreading

Verb problem

apply

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. There are at least 5 bad efforts

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of juck

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juck

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junk

food

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includes

such

Linking Words

as addictive additives,

conveniency

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convenience

, superstars endorsement, low level of nutrition literacy and a lack of

home-made

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homemade

show examples

food

Use synonyms

options.

Moreover

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modern

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the modern

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peranting

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parenting

style does not include limits related to

overconsumtion

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overconsumption

over-consumption

calories

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of calories

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and other fat elements. As far as we can, we have to

inhance

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improve

our future

generation

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generation's

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diets and their

lifestile

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lives

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through

show examples

the

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apply

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coordinated effort. As a solution, if you ask

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show examples

a question

how

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about how

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we can diminish

this

Linking Words

horrable

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horrible

statistic I would apparently bring up an idea in terms of an educational point of view. From

this

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perspective

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perspective,

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we could impact

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apply

show examples

children’s minds

through

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show examples

telling

what

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them what

show examples

to eat from

deferent

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different

show examples

sides.

For instance

Linking Words

, the government should

allucate

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allocate

bugdet

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budget

to schools in order to integrate health-education classes. School

administraion

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administration

has to work on it with

studiends

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students

studies

and

avoide

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avoid

boring

aprouch

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approach

to these programs.

Finaly

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Finally

, family

mambers

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members

are the primary influencers in

child’s

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a child’s

show examples

life so they must teach little guys as much as it is possible.

To conclude

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, in spite of the fact that the

reallity

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reality

tells us the lack of

perspectiveness

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perspectives

, we

sould

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should

could

pay attention to our kids and what they actually eat. The more organisations involved in

process

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the process

show examples

, the better result we could get. Education is simple when it becomes friendly and consistent.

Submitted by saladinrostislav on Tue Jul 30 2024

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task achievement

To improve your task achievement, ensure you address all parts of the question comprehensively. Your essay discusses causes and possible solutions, but lacks specific examples to support your points.

coherence cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, work on organizing your ideas more logically. Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure each point flows smoothly into the next.

language accuracy

Enhance your language accuracy to avoid minor errors that can affect clarity. Revise for spelling, grammar, and syntactical errors to improve overall readability.

task achievement

Your essay covers both causes and potential solutions to the problem, which shows a clear understanding of the task requirements.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present and provide a good framework for your essay.

lexical resource

You demonstrate a decent range of vocabulary and attempt to use complex sentences, which is commendable.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
46
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

313 words

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The percentage of overweight children in western societies has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the possible causes and effects of this disturbing trend and offer solution.

Your opinion

Today's young generation is facing many problems in school and at home. What are the problems? What can parents do to help their teenage children?

Some people believe that modern technology encourages more social behavior. Others say that this leads to lesser sociable behavior.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people think that it is beneficial for students to go to private secondary schools, but others think that it has negative effects. Discuss both points of view and give your own oipnion

The internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are. On the other hand, it also isolates us and encourages people not to socialize. To what extent do you agree or disagree with these statements?