In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinion on this?

Throughout many years , the issue of child labour has become a serious debate .
Due to
the increasing number of human
rights
organizations,
this
is now a major focus and voices are raised against what is considered inhumane .
While
others argue that the pros can outweigh the cons and it will help younger people to build a solid sense of responsibility and independence. I personally believe that engaging children in mild work experiences will positively affect their adulthood careers and prepare them mentally and physically . On one hand ,developing countries tend to gain from minor labouring
that is
not strictly supervised and undergoes law reinforcement . The salaries are offensively low compared to the effort and time wasted in
such
jobs,
besides
the absence of insurance and basic employee
rights
.
Hence
people started to complain ,
in addition
to large human
rights
bodies have tried to force authorities to cease these actions and impose legal guidelines for them.
On the other hand
, in first-world countries where legal guidelines are already applied and human
rights
are found, encouraging minors to work during their vacations to implement fundamental concepts about independence and hard work in order to achieve higher levels is surely a good thing . paying those children's salaries will
also
familiarise them with the actual career notion .
To conclude
, children engaged in salaried occupations are not as negative as people argue , if it is accomplished under government evaluation and readied circumstances. After all, we all need experience to move forward through
this
challenging life .
Submitted by hindgadeem123 on

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task achievement
Your essay generally addresses the topic and presents a clear stance on the issue. However, the arguments could benefit from more specific examples that illustrate your points. Including concrete examples would make your essay more persuasive and your ideas clearer.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical progression, but the clarity of some points could be enhanced. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and that supporting points are fully linked to these key points.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion which frames your essay well.
task achievement
Your writing outlines both perspectives of the issue, which demonstrates a balanced view and understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Child labor
  • Exploitation
  • Minimum age
  • Work experience
  • Survival
  • Taking responsibility
  • Education
  • Poverty
  • Legal restrictions
  • Physical toll
  • Psychological impact
  • Cultural perceptions
  • International conventions
  • Economic impact
  • Work-study programs
  • Skilled labor
  • Unskilled labor
  • Developing economies
  • Moral implications
  • Professional development
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