Some people argue that spending a lot of money holdingn birthday parties,wedding parties and other celebration is a waste of money. However, others believe such parties are important for individual and for society. Discuss both views give your opinion.
In
parties, Change preposition
At
such
as birthday
,Fix the agreement mistake
birthdays
wedding
and supplementary Fix the agreement mistake
weddings
celebration
spending Fix the agreement mistake
celebrations
vast
amount of Add an article
a vast
money
is a waste
in
the Change preposition
from
point
of view of one group of people. Whereas
, other
believe it is important for Fix the agreement mistake
others
socity
Correct your spelling
society
as well as
individual
.
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
Firstly
, the group that believe
Change the verb form
believes
lossing
Correct your spelling
losing
money
in those events is a drawback is correct in
a Change preposition
from
point
of view as many materials like ballons
, candles,Correct your spelling
balloons
foods
and so on are wasted Fix the agreement mistake
food
in
Change preposition
on
those occasion
. Misuse of Change the determiner
that occasion
those occasions
such
thing
in the name of Fix the agreement mistake
things
celebration
Replace the word
celebrating
in
Change preposition
apply
waste
while
distribution
Replace the word
distributing
of
those things to the poor can be Change preposition
apply
a
done Correct article usage
apply
instead
of wasting it. Secondly
,the waste
of money
in
Change preposition
on
such
a celebration
is also
waste
of time Correct article usage
a waste
while
it
productive things can be done Correct pronoun usage
apply
instead
of attending those celebrations.
While
Correct word choice
apply
,
the opposing faction Remove the comma
apply
believe
that Change the verb form
believes
these
Change the determiner
this
celebration
Fix the agreement mistake
celebrations
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
ones
in a Correct your spelling
once
while
or ones
in a lifetime Correct your spelling
once
celebration
so the money
spend
it is worth. Wrong verb form
spent
As
Correct word choice
These
these kind
of events bring together the members or
people to each other. Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
Also
, makes a lifetime memory that can be share
in future and can Wrong verb form
shared
also
refresh ones
memory remembering it.
In my Change to a genitive case
one's
point
of view, that
these events can be memorable but if the celebrations can be held using only Correct word choice
apply
small
amount and Correct article usage
a small
Correct article usage
the remaing
remaing
can be given to needy people or can be saved for the future. Both Correct your spelling
remaining
groups
views are correct in some Change noun form
group's
groups'
way
and Fix the agreement mistake
ways
also
wrong in other
Change the wording
another point
other points
point
.Submitted by niteshrayamajhi542 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction should clearly state the topic and your thesis. The conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Use cohesive devices such as linking words and phrases to make your essay more logical and coherent. This will help your essay flow better and make it easier to read.
task achievement
Be specific in your examples to support your points. For instance, mention specific occasions or cultural practices instead of generalizing.
task achievement
Try to elaborate more on your points. This will make your arguments more persuasive and your essay richer.
task achievement
Maintain consistent and clear ideas throughout the essay. Avoid jumping from one idea to another without a proper transition.
task achievement
You've made an effort to discuss both sides of the argument, which shows a good understanding of the task.
task achievement
Your essay shows a genuine attempt to reason and provide an opinion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.