Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of museums is to educate. Discuss both views and give you own opinion.

#people #museums #places #purpose

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

People

have different views about whether

museums

should tend to become amusement places for their

visitors

instead

of keeping the education task as their primary purpose. In

this

essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument and provide my opinion that

museums

should balance education and

entertainment

at the same time. There are some advantages for

museums

that value interaction and

entertainment

. First and foremost, it will noticeably increase

museum

visitors

. Most

people

go to

museums

during their vacation. If the

museum

could offer an interesting experience, the

visitors

would obtain a relaxing trip, which would

attracts

Change the verb form

attract

show examples

people

come

Verb problem

apply

show examples

to the

museum

and bring

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

considerable profits which is beneficial for running the

museum

Additionally

, visiting

museums

is different from going to amusement parks and movie

theaters

Change the spelling

theatres

show examples

museums

are not only for fun but

also

provide numerous useful

knowledges

Fix the agreement mistake

knowledge

show examples

. If

museums

improve their

entertainment

service,

people

who spend their time in

museums

will have a memorable and meaningful experience.

However

, there are still some

people

who hold the notion that the primary purpose of

museums

is education.

Firstly

, a

museum

is a place where a lot of science, historical and art

artifacts

Change the spelling

artefacts

show examples

are exhibited, the main purpose is knowledge dissemination.

Hence

museums

should teach

people

accurate knowledge about various aspects of their lives. Once

museums

are involved in amusement it will lose accuracy.

Secondly

museums

relate to cultural preservation.

For example

, most historical

museums

preserve abundant and valuable antique works of art, those things need a proper environment and

quiet

Correct article usage

a quiet

show examples

serious place to protect them. Displaying ancient unique artifacts should avoid excessive

entertainment

. In conclusion, despite the fact that

museums

are serious places

where

Correct word choice

that

show examples

display a variety of valuable and meaningful

artifacts

Change the spelling

artefacts

show examples

and provide plentiful knowledge, they should

also

concern

Wrong verb form

be concerned

show examples

about commercial profit and offer a better experience for their

visitors

Therefore

, in my

opinion

Add a comma

opinion,

show examples

the best way to manage

museums

is to balance entertaining and educating the public together.

Submitted by duzirong on Wed Jul 31 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Consider providing more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. This will help in making your essay more convincing and relatable.

coherence cohesion

While your essay is generally well-structured, make sure to make the transitions between paragraphs even smoother. Using transitional phrases can enhance the flow of your essay.

task achievement

The essay provides a balanced discussion of both perspectives, which is essential for this type of task.

coherence cohesion

There is a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing the essay effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

322 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Full-time university students spend a lot of time studying. Some say they should do other activities too. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In today's fast-paced world, the debate over whether students should solely focus on their academic studies or engage in extracurricular activities continues to persist. While some argue that academic excellence should be the primary focus, I firmly believe that participating in extracurricular activities is equally important. This essay will delve into the reasons behind my stance.
6
band
Some people think that advertising is a major factor in driving consumer demand. Others believe that consumers are becoming more immune to advertising. Discuss both views and give your opinion
In today’s world, the influence of advertising on consumer behavior has sparked considerable debate. Some people believe that advertising is a major factor in driving consumer demand, while others argue that consumers are becoming more immune to it. Both perspectives offer valid points, and this essay will discuss both views before presenting my own opinion on the matter.
5
band
In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinion on this?
In some countries, children are encouraged to work in some kind of places. Individuals regard this as totally wrong but others think it is valuable work experience and should be educated and taking responsibility. In this essay, both views and my opinion will be discussed.
5.5
band
Governments give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere. Discuss both vioews and give your opinion.
In the modern era, artists are being backed financially by authorities while some individuals think the money can be spent on more beneficial things to society. I mostly agree with the statement and I think that funding should be spent on both public services and artists.
<4
band
Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
It is certainly true that economic progress is their most important goal and too other types of progress are equality important for a country. While some people tend towards the viewpoint that economic progress ensures a high standard of living, I would have to support the idea that other people development index, balances economic and social factors for a holistic view.

Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of museums is to educate. Discuss both views and give you own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Full-time university students spend a lot of time studying. Some say they should do other activities too. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that advertising is a major factor in driving consumer demand. Others believe that consumers are becoming more immune to advertising. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinion on this?

Governments give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere. Discuss both vioews and give your opinion.

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your own opinion