Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of museums is to educate. Discuss both views and give you own opinion.
People
have different views about whether museums
should tend to become amusement places for their visitors
instead
of keeping the education task as their primary purpose. In this
essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument and provide my opinion that museums
should balance education and entertainment
at the same time.
There are some advantages for museums
that value interaction and entertainment
. First and foremost, it will noticeably increase museum
visitors
. Most people
go to museums
during their vacation. If the museum
could offer an interesting experience, the visitors
would obtain a relaxing trip, which would attracts
more Change the verb form
attract
people
come
to the Verb problem
apply
museum
and bring a
considerable profits which is beneficial for running the Correct article usage
apply
museum
. Additionally
, visiting museums
is different from going to amusement parks and movie theaters
, Change the spelling
theatres
museums
are not only for fun but also
provide numerous useful knowledges
. If Fix the agreement mistake
knowledge
museums
improve their entertainment
service, people
who spend their time in museums
will have a memorable and meaningful experience.
However
, there are still some people
who hold the notion that the primary purpose of museums
is education. Firstly
, a museum
is a place where a lot of science, historical and art artifacts
are exhibited, the main purpose is knowledge dissemination. Change the spelling
artefacts
Hence
, museums
should teach people
accurate knowledge about various aspects of their lives. Once museums
are involved in amusement it will lose accuracy. Secondly
, museums
relate to cultural preservation. For example
, most historical museums
preserve abundant and valuable antique works of art, those things need a proper environment and quiet
serious place to protect them. Displaying ancient unique artifacts should avoid excessive Correct article usage
a quiet
entertainment
.
In conclusion, despite the fact that museums
are serious places where
display a variety of valuable and meaningful Correct word choice
that
artifacts
and provide plentiful knowledge, they should Change the spelling
artefacts
also
concern
about commercial profit and offer a better experience for their Wrong verb form
be concerned
visitors
. Therefore
, in my opinion
the best way to manage Add a comma
opinion,
museums
is to balance entertaining and educating the public together.Submitted by duzirong on
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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. This will help in making your essay more convincing and relatable.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is generally well-structured, make sure to make the transitions between paragraphs even smoother. Using transitional phrases can enhance the flow of your essay.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both perspectives, which is essential for this type of task.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing the essay effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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