IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The chart below shows global sales of the top five mobile phone brands between 2009 and 2013. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The chart below shows global sales of the top five mobile phone brands between 2009 and 2013. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words
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The bar charts illustrate the information about worldwide sales of the major five mobile phone brands from 2009 to 2014, with 2-tear intervals.
Overall
Linking Words
, it. Can be seen that the number of people who bought mobile phones increased dramatically in Samsung and Apple.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, ZTE elevated minimally over the given period,
while
Linking Words
 the profits of mobile sales of Nokia and LG declined between 2009 and 2013.
However
Linking Words
, Nokia was the most popular brand among others in 2009 with 4,200
million
Use synonyms
 units sold
then
Linking Words
 decreased to just over 400
million
Use synonyms
, and significantly fell to 250
million
Use synonyms
 in 2013.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, Samsung starting from 220
million
Use synonyms
, inclined gradually about 100
million
Use synonyms
 every two single years till 450
million
Use synonyms
 in 2013. In Summary, the highest rate of sales was occupied by Samsung and Nokia accounting for 450 and 420
million
Use synonyms
, respectively.
Whereas
Linking Words
, the others remained just under 150
million
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of a given period.
Submitted by sippakorn.wet on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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