In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advanages and disadvantages of gibing children this message?
There is no denying that with the rapid development of social norms, educational standards and approaches have become significantly diverse. As
such
, the signigicance
of education Correct your spelling
significance
on
the sense of hard Change preposition
in
working
Replace the word
work
have
been increasingly recognized. Change the verb form
has
While
some people look upon asking children
to make efforts Fix the infinitive
to contributes
contributes
to their ultimate Correct subject-verb agreement
contribute
high-achievement
, others advocate that Correct your spelling
high achievement
children
should not be placed excessive
strain. Despite pushing Change preposition
under excessive
children
by
strict inquiries driving a potential Change preposition
with
in
better personal Change preposition
for
outcome
, it Fix the agreement mistake
outcomes
cause
negatives Change the verb form
causes
in
the same time.
Change preposition
at
To begin
with, there are myriad factors contributing to the belief that rigorous training and requirements leading
to a positive advancement in Wrong verb form
lead
children
's achievement. First of all, while
providing encourages
to the students that they can achieve their dreams as long as they make Replace the word
encouragement
Correct article usage
an efforts
efforts
, it Fix the agreement mistake
effort
strive
them to excel driven by the pursuit. To be more specific, people promote by the progress that they engaged in specific activities, regardless Change the verb form
strives
the
final outcome. Change preposition
of the
For instance
, children
who told to receive a gift after taking first place in the school mid-term exam,
gained academic knowledge no matter what the test result is Remove the comma
apply
resulted
from the Wrong verb form
resulting
eager
to win the gift. Replace the word
eagerness
This
highlights the significance of engaging and
effort Correct your spelling
an
delve
into the processes of pursuing goals.
Fix the infinitive
to delve
However
, others disagree with the view children
should be taught the standard that efforts leading
to endless achievements, resulting from the Wrong verb form
lead
subsequently
Change the word
subsequent
petential
harm to Correct your spelling
potential
children
's confidence and inadequate standaards
. Specifically, Correct your spelling
standards
children
who were taught the sence
may be negatively Correct your spelling
sense
effected
by regarding final goal to be the sole determination of the fulfillment, potentially Correct your spelling
affected
drive
to a determination on their personal Wrong verb form
driving
confidnece
when they fail to reach their goals. Correct your spelling
confidence
Additionally
, children
who hold the sense my
Correct your spelling
may
overlooked
the significance of Wrong verb form
overlook
process
, solely concentrating Correct article usage
the process
to complete
the tasks, leading to a Change preposition
on completing
disrespective
in the progress of Correct your spelling
disrespected
practicing
and training.
In summary, despite teaching the sense of effort leading to Change the spelling
practising
children
's personal achievelment
Correct your spelling
achievement
achievements
in
some extent, it may cause Change preposition
to
negative
Add an article
a negative
effect
for Fix the agreement mistake
effects
a
inadequate social standard and Change the article
an
inconfidence
.Correct your spelling
in confidence
confidence
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your arguments are logically structured, and each paragraph transitions smoothly from one idea to the next. Aim to make each point clearly support the overall argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Proofread your essay to catch grammatical and spelling errors, which can detract from the overall quality of your writing. For instance, correct 'signigicance' to 'significance' and 'sence' to 'sense.'
Task Achievement
Enhance your clarity by breaking down complex sentences into simpler ones. This will help avoid confusion and make your ideas more accessible to the reader.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific, varied examples to support your arguments. Instead of mentioning a vague example like receiving a gift for a mid-term exam, describe an anecdote or statistic that clearly illustrates your point.
Coherence and Cohesion
You effectively introduce and conclude your essay, providing a clear sense of your main argument from the start and bringing it together at the end.
Task Achievement
You address both advantages and disadvantages of the idea that children can achieve anything if they try hard enough, which shows a balanced understanding of the topic.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...