In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advanages and disadvantages of gibing children this message?

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There is no denying that with the rapid development of social norms, educational standards and approaches have become significantly diverse. As
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the
signigicance
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significance

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of education
on
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in

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the sense of hard
working
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work

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have
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has

The verb have does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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been increasingly recognized.
While
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

some people look upon asking
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to make efforts
Fix the infinitive
to contributes

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

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contributes
Correct subject-verb agreement
contribute

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to their ultimate
high-achievement
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high achievement

The word high-achievement doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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, others advocate that
children
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should not be placed
excessive
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under excessive

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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strain. Despite pushing
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

by
Change preposition
with

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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strict inquiries driving a potential
in
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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better personal
outcome
Fix the agreement mistake
outcomes

It seems that outcome may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, it
cause
Change the verb form
causes

It appears that the subject pronoun it and the verb cause are not in agreement. Consider changing the verb.

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negatives
in
Change preposition
at

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the same time.
To begin
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

with, there are myriad factors contributing to the belief that rigorous training and requirements
leading
Wrong verb form
lead

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb leading. Consider changing it.

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to a positive advancement in
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's achievement. First of all,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

providing
encourages
Replace the word
encouragement

The word encourages doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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to the students that they can achieve their dreams as long as they make
Correct article usage
an efforts
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efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort

It seems that efforts may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, it
strive
Change the verb form
strives

It appears that the subject pronoun it and the verb strive are not in agreement. Consider changing the verb.

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them to excel driven by the pursuit. To be more specific, people promote by the progress that they engaged in specific activities, regardless
the
Change preposition
of the

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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final outcome.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

who told to receive a gift after taking first place in the school mid-term exam
,
Remove the comma
apply

The comma may be separating the subject and verb in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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gained academic knowledge no matter what the test result is
resulted
Wrong verb form
resulting

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb resulted. Consider changing it.

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from the
eager
Replace the word
eagerness

The word eager doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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to win the gift.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

highlights the significance of engaging
and
Correct your spelling
an

The word and doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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effort
delve
Fix the infinitive
to delve

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

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into the processes of pursuing goals.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, others disagree with the view
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should be taught the standard that efforts
leading
Wrong verb form
lead

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb leading. Consider changing it.

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to endless achievements, resulting from the
Linking Words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

subsequently
Change the word
subsequent

Subsequently seems to be the wrong part of speech for this context.

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petential
Correct your spelling
potential

If you don’t want petential to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

harm to
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's confidence and inadequate
standaards
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standards

If you don’t want standaards to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

. Specifically,
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

who were taught the
sence
Correct your spelling
sense

If you don’t want sence to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

may be negatively
effected
Correct your spelling
affected

The word effected doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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by regarding final goal to be the sole determination of the fulfillment, potentially
drive
Wrong verb form
driving

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb drive. Consider changing it.

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to a determination on their personal
confidnece
Correct your spelling
confidence

If you don’t want confidnece to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

when they fail to reach their goals.
Additionally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

who hold the sense
my
Correct your spelling
may

The word my doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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overlooked
Wrong verb form
overlook

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb overlooked. Consider changing it.

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the significance of
process
Correct article usage
the process

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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, solely concentrating
to complete
Change preposition
on completing

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the tasks, leading to a
disrespective
Correct your spelling
disrespected

If you don’t want disrespective to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

in the progress of
practicing
Change the spelling
practising

The spelling of practicing is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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and training. In summary, despite teaching the sense of effort leading to
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's personal
achievelment
Correct your spelling
achievement
achievements

If you don’t want achievelment to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

in
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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some extent, it may cause
negative
Add an article
a negative

The noun phrase negative effect seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects

It seems that effect may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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for
a
Change the article
an

The article a may be incorrect. Consider changing it to agree with the beginning sound of the following word inadequate.

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inadequate social standard and
inconfidence
Correct your spelling
in confidence
confidence

If you don’t want inconfidence to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your arguments are logically structured, and each paragraph transitions smoothly from one idea to the next. Aim to make each point clearly support the overall argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Proofread your essay to catch grammatical and spelling errors, which can detract from the overall quality of your writing. For instance, correct 'signigicance' to 'significance' and 'sence' to 'sense.'
Task Achievement
Enhance your clarity by breaking down complex sentences into simpler ones. This will help avoid confusion and make your ideas more accessible to the reader.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific, varied examples to support your arguments. Instead of mentioning a vague example like receiving a gift for a mid-term exam, describe an anecdote or statistic that clearly illustrates your point.
Coherence and Cohesion
You effectively introduce and conclude your essay, providing a clear sense of your main argument from the start and bringing it together at the end.
Task Achievement
You address both advantages and disadvantages of the idea that children can achieve anything if they try hard enough, which shows a balanced understanding of the topic.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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