IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #families #country #income #summarise #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The chart
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 expenses from medium households between 1968 and 2018.
Proportion
Add an article
The proportion
show examples
 of spending in 1968 in the most of factors
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 higher than
2018
Change preposition
in 2018
show examples
besides
Linking Words
 transport and leisure. It exhibits that consumers in 2018 tend to utilise more of their funds for their enjoyment
such
Linking Words
 as going abroad to other countries and staying in the hotel rather than home.
To begin
Linking Words
, the percentage of
wage
Fix the agreement mistake
wages
show examples
 spent on food diminished significantly from 35% to 17%.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the fuel and power decreased by 6%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, less money went into clothing and
footware
Correct your spelling
footwear
 compared to 1968's.
However
Linking Words
, the chart for household
good
Fix the agreement mistake
goods
show examples
 stayed
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
constant even though the
overal
Correct your spelling
overall
 income changed in 2018.
Moreover
Linking Words
, spending on housing increased dramatically
about
Change preposition
by about
show examples
 12% between 1968 and 2018. Especially, consumption of
lesiure
Correct your spelling
leisure
 by ordinary people soared
suprisingly
Correct your spelling
surprisingly
.
Lastly
Linking Words
, families preferred to pay more in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
proportion
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their total income on transport.
Submitted by az7082687 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • compare
  • spending patterns
  • allocated
  • weekly income
  • significant changes
  • essential items
  • food
  • housing
  • clothing
  • leisure
  • communication
  • increase
  • decrease
  • twofold rise
  • substantial increase
  • quadrupling
  • declined
  • food and drink
  • slight increase
  • prioritizing
  • necessities
  • transitioned
  • portio
  • non-essential items
What to do next:
Look at other essays: