some people say the must not share violent on tv programm and news papres discuus and give openion
One of the most
controversail
issues today relates to Correct your spelling
controversial
share
war crimes and Change the verb form
sharing
violent
on the screen and newspaper. Replace the word
violence
Alarge
fraction of Correct your spelling
A large
population
Correct article usage
the population
belives
that Correct your spelling
believes
this
had
led to an increase in Wrong verb form
has
the
crime numbers and has Correct article usage
apply
badily
effects Correct your spelling
bad
in
Change preposition
on
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
in general also
it is better to ban it from the news
. In this
essay i
am going to discuss Change the capitalization
I
difeerent
points related to Correct your spelling
different
this
isuue
Correct your spelling
issue
then
i
will eventually give my Change the capitalization
I
openion
.
Some Correct your spelling
opinion
people
agree that it is better to not share violent news
on
the Change preposition
in
news paper
, the main reason for believing Correct your spelling
newspaper
this
is that youngs
Correct your spelling
young
and
children will learn from the Correct word choice
apply
criminals
many ideas and they will learn how to apply Change to a genitive case
criminal's
criminals'
it
, these Correct pronoun usage
them
type
of Fix the agreement mistake
types
programms
will have bad effects on their Correct your spelling
programmes
programs
behavior
,Change the spelling
behaviour
For instance
, last
year a teenager from US admit a crim
he stole a grocery and when police officers ask him he said he Correct your spelling
crime
watch
a serious on TV and he did the same as the criminal at the TV show.
The second reason it is better to cancel violent Tv shows from Change the verb form
watches
news papers
is that when you Correct your spelling
newspapers
shre
these types of programmes you spread horo Correct your spelling
share
between
Change preposition
among
society
members, people
will not feel safe and they will act daily responde
to their Correct your spelling
response
respond
afferainess
, usually Correct your spelling
fieriness
people
nowadays people
take many proceirures
to keep criminals Correct your spelling
procedures
out side
their door,Correct your spelling
outside
for
example
Add a comma
example,
i
read an article about a man who Change the capitalization
I
live
alone inside his house for 10 years when they ask him why you Change the verb form
lives
didnot
leave your house at Correct your spelling
did not
didn't
this
period he said he was afraid to be killes
like a guy he watched in Correct your spelling
killed
newspappers
.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
newspapers
i
violent newspapers Correct pronoun usage
apply
has
Change the verb form
have
a damage effects
on Correct the article-noun agreement
a damage effect
damage effects
society
, in my openion
, Correct your spelling
opinion
i
think Change the capitalization
I
govenents
Correct your spelling
governments
mus
put some rules to remove Correct your spelling
must
such
news
away from our society
.Submitted by waleed.edu11 on
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task achievement
Your introduction does a good job of presenting the issue and your intention to discuss it, but there are numerous spelling and grammatical mistakes that can disrupt the reader's understanding. Make sure to proofread your work or use tools to help catch these errors.
task achievement
The essay needs more specific examples and explanations to substantiate the points you are making. Try to add more concrete evidence or scenarios that support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is somewhat clear but could be enhanced by using more cohesive devices such as linking phrases and transition words to ensure smooth flow from one point to the next.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion should provide a stronger summary of the key points discussed. This is a chance to reinforce your arguments and make a persuasive case for your point of view.
coherence cohesion
Remember to divide your essay into proper paragraphs and ensure that each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea of that paragraph. This will help in organizing your thoughts better.
task achievement
Your essay covers multiple points of view, which shows a good understanding of the issue.
task achievement
The examples you did provide are relevant and help illustrate your points, even though more detail is needed.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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