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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Charts A and B show the share of the UK and Australian cinema market in 2001 and cinema admission in the UK and Australia from 1976 to 2006. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

Charts A and B show the share of the UK and Australian cinema market in 2001 and cinema admission in the UK and Australia from 1976 to 2006. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
#b #show #uk #australian #cinema #market #admission #australia #report #university #lecturer #information
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The bar chart compares the number of
films
Use synonyms
 which were shown in the
UK
Use synonyms
 and Australia in 2001,
while
Linking Words
 the line chart represents the
cinema
Use synonyms
 admission in both countries from 1976 to 2006.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, both
Australian
Use synonyms
 and
British
Use synonyms
 shared the same
likely
Replace the word
likelihood
show examples
 in the US Film, with a nearly similar percentage of the shares at over 65%.
Use synonyms
Australian
Correct your spelling
Australians
show examples
 had seen much more
UK
Use synonyms
 and other
films
Use synonyms
, at 20% and 5%, respectively, compared to the ones produced by their own country.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it is obvious that the
British
Use synonyms
 much enjoyed their own produced movies, with 20% of
films
Use synonyms
 screened, followed by
Australian
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 and other
films
Use synonyms
 as the least, placed at under 5%. Looking at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cinema
Use synonyms
 attendance, in 1975, about 100
million
Use synonyms
British
Use synonyms
 watched movies in cinemas
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 was just around 30
million
Use synonyms
 for
Australian
Use synonyms
. In a decade, Australia's movie
admisison
Correct your spelling
admission
 still remained stable
while
Linking Words
 the
UK
Use synonyms
's experienced a downward number to under 60 attendees, but afterwards steadily went up with some minor fluctuations.
Australian
Use synonyms
 movie-goers reached a number of 80
million
Use synonyms
 attendees in 2005,
while
Linking Words
on the contrary
Linking Words
, almost 160
million
Use synonyms
British
Use synonyms
 went to
cinema
Use synonyms
 halls- almost double
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that of Australians.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
UK
Use synonyms
 had a greater preference in the market and reception of
cinema
Use synonyms
 than Australia
between
Change preposition
during
show examples
 the given time span.
Submitted by riani.the2 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words films, uk, cinema, australian, british, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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