IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is thought by some that it is better to live in a city while others believe that life is better in the countryside. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 have different views about where is the better place for inhibiting.
While
Linking Words
 some believe that living in their
city
Use synonyms
 is better, others
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
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 that
counteryside
Correct your spelling
countryside
 is better for living.
However
Linking Words
, I side with the latter view because living in the villages is better for strength than
city
Use synonyms
 life.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 say that in modern cities, there are conveniences for
people
Use synonyms
 in different ways
such
Linking Words
 as transportation and medicine.
As a result
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, these advantages improve the health and lifestyle of humans.
For instance
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, If
people
Use synonyms
 are sick, they can cure themselves in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern hospitals and they go there with safe transportation. Despite its benefits, it comes with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
disadvantages.
For example
Linking Words
, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
urban areas
Add a comma
,
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there are lots of factories, cars and
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 plants so these organizations cause air pollution and
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 cause overcrowded streets.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, others say that like me, in the countryside, there are not any disasters like in the cities
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
, however
show examples
,
that is
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 very quiet and
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 fresh air.
For
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instance
Add a comma
instance,
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 in the towns which are near the mountains
people
Use synonyms
 live healthily and pure drinks, these facilities avoid being sick.
In addition
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,
people
Use synonyms
 enjoy a cheaper life than cities. Because
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 inhabit less and
transaction
Fix the agreement mistake
transactions
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 not developed
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they harvest from the fields and sell it at the cheapest value.
For example
Linking Words
, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Uzbekistan old products are excessive in the
city
Use synonyms
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
,
conversely
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, in the towns and villages it is
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
, some individuals believe that
city
Use synonyms
 centres have a lot of advantages
such
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 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 modernized transportation and medicine, others, like me, think that living in the countryside is far better, because they are safe and airy.
Moreover
Linking Words
, living in villages offers a cheaper life.

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task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the task, covering both sides of the argument and giving your opinion. However, ensure your points are clearly and consistently illustrated throughout for even stronger task achievement.
task achievement
While your ideas are generally clear, ensure that each main point is fully elaborated, perhaps with more specific examples or studies to back up your arguments. Also, make sure you use varied vocabulary to maintain reader interest.
coherence cohesion
Focus on using more complex sentence structures and connecting phrases to enhance the overall coherence and flow of your essay. This will make your arguments more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Some minor spelling and grammatical mistakes are present. Be sure to carefully proofread to ensure accuracy and fluidity. These small errors can slightly impact the readability of your writing.
task achievement
You have effectively provided a balanced discussion by addressing both city and countryside living, which shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear structure in your essay with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This organization helps the reader to follow your arguments easily.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your arguments and gives a clear final opinion, which leaves a strong impression.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • metropolitan
  • infrastructure
  • cosmopolitan
  • commute
  • sociocultural
  • prosperity
  • sustainability
  • rural
  • tranquility
  • urbanization
  • relocation
  • residential
  • populace
  • ecological footprint
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