Dangerous sports activities are activities that include high level of risk and sense of adventure.

Dangerous
sports
activities
are
activities
that include
high
Add an article
a high
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level of risk and
sense
Correct article usage
a sense
show examples
of adventure. Nowadays
sports
have many types so some
people
do
sports
to keep them fit
however
there are other
sports
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
put them in
dangerous
Replace the word
danger
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.
people
who choose dangerous
sports
have their own n reasons to do
this
.
For example
, they may want to try something different or wild, or they may like the risk and the adventure. I believe that it’s important
have
Add the particle
to have
show examples
rescue
workers
because they are trained and have experience more than anyone else.
For instance
,
rescue
workers
have more experience than other
people
because they are training more. They tried these
activities
several times that’s why they should help others
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
their first try in order to decrease the chance of making mistakes. because a small mistake in
this
kind of
activities
Fix the agreement mistake
activity
show examples
can be catastrophic and may end lives.
In addition
,
rescue
workers
have suitable equipment for these
activities
with high qualities so
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
can provide more safe opportunities.
In addition
, even when those
people
get experienced it’s better to have
rescue
worker
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workers
show examples
because
this
type of
activities
Fix the agreement mistake
activity
show examples
shouldn’t be
practiced
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practised
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individually. They need
people
to help in emergency situations.
To conclude
, all the
sports
are very helpful including the extreme ones but, in my opinion, dangerous or risky
activities
should be accompanied by
high level
Add a hyphen
high-level
show examples
experienced
rescue
workers
in order to decrease the chance of making mistakes. Because making mistakes in
such
situations can cause
tragedy ending
Replace the word
tragic ends
show examples
.
Submitted by moneeraawda on

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task achievement
Your introduction provides a clear idea of what the essay will cover. However, work on refining it to better link the idea of dangerous sports with the main thesis, which is the importance of having rescue workers.
task achievement
Try to expand on your ideas with more relevant and specific examples. Adding a variety of details can illustrate your points more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay should maintain a logical structure. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Use linking words and phrases to enhance coherence between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with more detailed arguments and examples. Explain why certain measures are necessary and how they contribute to safety in dangerous sports.
task achievement
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint and reinforces the idea that dangerous sports should be accompanied by experienced rescue workers.
task achievement
The essay covers the key points required to address the topic, showing a reasonable understanding of the subject.
coherence cohesion
You provide clear reasons why rescue workers should be present during dangerous sports activities, showing your ability to argue a viewpoint.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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