Dangerous sports activities are activities that include high level of risk and sense of adventure.
Dangerous
sports
activities
are activities
that include high
level of risk and Add an article
a high
sense
of adventure. Nowadays Correct article usage
a sense
sports
have many types so some people
do sports
to keep them fit however
there are other sports
can
put them in Correct pronoun usage
that can
dangerous
. Replace the word
danger
people
who choose dangerous sports
have their own n reasons to do this
. For example
, they may want to try something different or wild, or they may like the risk and the adventure. I believe that it’s important have
Add the particle
to have
rescue
workers
because they are trained and have experience more than anyone else.
For instance
, rescue
workers
have more experience than other people
because they are training more. They tried these activities
several times that’s why they should help others at
their first try in order to decrease the chance of making mistakes. because a small mistake in Change preposition
on
this
kind of activities
can be catastrophic and may end lives. Fix the agreement mistake
activity
In addition
, rescue
workers
have suitable equipment for these activities
with high qualities so the
can provide more safe opportunities. Correct your spelling
they
In addition
, even when those people
get experienced it’s better to have rescue
worker
because Fix the agreement mistake
workers
this
type of activities
shouldn’t be Fix the agreement mistake
activity
practiced
individually. They need Change the spelling
practised
people
to help in emergency situations.
To conclude
, all the sports
are very helpful including the extreme ones but, in my opinion, dangerous or risky activities
should be accompanied by high level
experienced Add a hyphen
high-level
rescue
workers
in order to decrease the chance of making mistakes. Because making mistakes in such
situations can cause tragedy ending
.Replace the word
tragic ends
Submitted by moneeraawda on
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task achievement
Your introduction provides a clear idea of what the essay will cover. However, work on refining it to better link the idea of dangerous sports with the main thesis, which is the importance of having rescue workers.
task achievement
Try to expand on your ideas with more relevant and specific examples. Adding a variety of details can illustrate your points more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay should maintain a logical structure. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Use linking words and phrases to enhance coherence between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with more detailed arguments and examples. Explain why certain measures are necessary and how they contribute to safety in dangerous sports.
task achievement
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint and reinforces the idea that dangerous sports should be accompanied by experienced rescue workers.
task achievement
The essay covers the key points required to address the topic, showing a reasonable understanding of the subject.
coherence cohesion
You provide clear reasons why rescue workers should be present during dangerous sports activities, showing your ability to argue a viewpoint.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
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