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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The char below gives information about science qualificatiin held by people in two countries.

#char #information #science #qualificatiin #people #two #countries
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The given bar chart illustrates the proportion of
individuals
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 with
science
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qualifications
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 in two nations (Malaysia and Singapore)
Overall
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, it is obvious that the majority of
individuals
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 in both countries do not possess a
science
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 degree,
while
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 those with a master's degree make up the smallest
percentage
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.
In addition
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, there is a notable difference in the proportion of
individuals
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 with
science
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 degrees at the undergraduate level in both nations. When it comes to
individuals
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 in Malaysia, 65% of them lack
science
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qualifications
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.
This
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percentage
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 is 5% higher compared to the figure in Singapore.
Similarly
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, Malaysia has a higher
percentage
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 of
individuals
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 with
science
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qualifications
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 based on school leaving exams, standing at 35%,
whereas
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 Singapore's
percentage
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 is slightly lower at 30%. When it comes to
science
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qualifications
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 at the bachelor’s degree level, Singaporeans have a higher number compared to Malaysians, with 20% and 10%, respectively. Interestingly, both countries have a comparable
percentage
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 of
individuals
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 with master's degrees, which is only 5%.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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task achievement
Add a brief conclusion to summarize the main points of comparison and contrast between the two countries.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a smooth flow between sentences and paragraphs by using more cohesive devices.
task achievement
The essay addresses all parts of the task and provides a complete response.
task achievement
Main points are clear and supported with specific data from the chart.
coherence cohesion
The essay follows a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a brief concluding observation.
coherence cohesion
The language used is mostly clear and precise, making it easy to understand the main ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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