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Band 4.5

The char below gives information about science qualificatiin held by people in two countries.

#char #information #science #qualificatiin #people #two #countries
The given bar chart illustrates the proportion of
individuals
 with
science
qualifications
 in two nations (Malaysia and Singapore)
Overall
, it is obvious that the majority of
individuals
 in both countries do not possess a
science
 degree,
while
 those with a master's degree make up the smallest
percentage
.
In addition
, there is a notable difference in the proportion of
individuals
 with
science
 degrees at the undergraduate level in both nations. When it comes to
individuals
 in Malaysia, 65% of them lack
science
qualifications
.
This
percentage
 is 5% higher compared to the figure in Singapore.
Similarly
, Malaysia has a higher
percentage
 of
individuals
 with
science
qualifications
 based on school leaving exams, standing at 35%,
whereas
 Singapore's
percentage
 is slightly lower at 30%. When it comes to
science
qualifications
 at the bachelor’s degree level, Singaporeans have a higher number compared to Malaysians, with 20% and 10%, respectively. Interestingly, both countries have a comparable
percentage
 of
individuals
 with master's degrees, which is only 5%.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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task achievement
Add a brief conclusion to summarize the main points of comparison and contrast between the two countries.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a smooth flow between sentences and paragraphs by using more cohesive devices.
task achievement
The essay addresses all parts of the task and provides a complete response.
task achievement
Main points are clear and supported with specific data from the chart.
coherence cohesion
The essay follows a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a brief concluding observation.
coherence cohesion
The language used is mostly clear and precise, making it easy to understand the main ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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