Some people believe that it is best to encourage children to have a healthy diet at school while others believe that parents should be the ones to teach children to have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some
indivisual
claim Correct your spelling
individual
individuals
the
it is good to Correct your spelling
that
advice
young Replace the word
advise
children
to have a heallthy
diet at Correct your spelling
healthy
school
while
others believe that parents Add a missing verb
are responsibility
responsibility
Replace the word
responsible
to educate
their Change preposition
for educating
children
to have a healthy
Remove the article
healthy food
a portion of healthy food
food
. This
eassy
will discuss both aspects and articulate the given problem Correct your spelling
essay
easy
along with
my opinion and logical conclusion.
To begin
with, staying fit and healthy at young
age will enhance Add an article
a young
younge
Correct your spelling
young
children
to live longer. First of all, nowaday
Correct your spelling
nowadays
every one
Correct your spelling
everyone
enjoy
eating junk Change the verb form
enjoys
food
because it is made in two minute
, Change to a plural noun
minutes
also
the cost of the
fast Correct article usage
apply
food
is cheaper than healthy food
such
as KFC therefor
Correct your spelling
therefore
families
responsibility toward Change noun form
families'
family's
children
is to prevent them from buying bad quality Correct pronoun usage
their children
food
and set a plan at young
age, Add an article
a young
children
should get use
to eat healthy Change the form of the verb
used
food
at young
age so in the future when they try fast Add an article
a young
food
they wont
love it. Add an apostrophe
won't
Moreover
, parents should prepare their food
before going to school
and getting
their lunch Wrong verb form
get
box
ready for the day. Fix the agreement mistake
boxes
Nevertheless
, the consequenses
of eating fast Correct your spelling
consequences
food
my
lead to Correct your spelling
may
illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
such
as blod suger
and Correct your spelling
blood sugar
blod
pressure.
Correct your spelling
blood
On the other hand
, school
is responsible Correct article usage
the school
of
Change the preposition
for
tacking
care of young Correct your spelling
taking
children
by providing extracurricular activities such
as football ,basketball running session
and Fix the agreement mistake
sessions
waht
to eat. Correct your spelling
what
want
For instance
, in the united arab emitares
schools are Correct your spelling
Emirates
challinging
each Correct your spelling
challenging
othr
in activities and will win Correct your spelling
other
massive
Correct article usage
a massive
amout
of money Correct your spelling
amount
amounts
therefor
the Correct your spelling
therefore
children
will be encouraged.
In a nutshell, despite people having differnt
views, I Correct your spelling
different
belive
that Correct your spelling
believe
school
are responsible Fix the agreement mistake
schools
of
Change the preposition
for
keping
young Correct your spelling
keeping
children
healthy and fit since parents busy working all day.Submitted by saeeddjcj80 on
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Task Response
Make sure to address both views in more detail to achieve a more balanced discussion. The essay should clearly define both perspectives before presenting your opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve logical flow by ensuring each paragraph has a clear idea and follows logically from the previous one. Try to make your argument more cohesive.
Language Use
Use more precise language and correct grammatical errors to improve comprehension. Revise the essay to correct spelling errors and awkward phrasing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Conclude each paragraph with a sentence that ties the main point back to your overall argument. This will help in making the essay more cohesive.
Introduction
The introduction clearly states that the essay will discuss both views and provide an opinion.
Task Response
Some specific examples were used, such as mentioning KFC and the role of parents in preventing unhealthy eating habits.
Conclusion
The conclusion restates the writer's opinion clearly, helping to wrap up the essay.