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Band 5

Many people think that the government should not restrict what people say in public media as it is part of freedom of speech. To what extent do you agree to this statement?

#people #government #media #part #freedom #speech
Most individuals believe that authorities should not stop human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
 from speaking out their
opinions
 and thoughts, through social
media
 networking sites and television
media
. considering freedom of speech is a basic
right
 of citizens in a nation. I completely agree, that every individual has
right
Add an article
the right
a right
show examples
 of speech to light solely
opinions
 through
media
. so, that others will be aware of the incident. These days, television and social
media
 have gained their pace compared to the past. It only takes a few minutes for news to get circulated to the public. As the constitution states the
right
 to speak is every individual's basic law. people of nations should speak out
opinions
Correct pronoun usage
their opinions
show examples
 through social
media
.
As a
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 people from every corner will know incidents and various versions of them.
for instance
, the serious riots that took place in Manipur came to light after telecasting on a
media
 channel. by which, every individual could know and respond. which government where under pressure to address and calm down the situation by sending the military.
Due to
 the availability of the internet everywhere, social networking sites
such
 as
tread
Capitalize word
Tread
show examples
 and 'X' have gained popularity. Through these sites,
opinions
 are instantly shared by individuals in the form of tweets. by which every person could know the thoughts of important people and understand
opinions
 and diversity of ideas. For example, Russia invading Ukraine and killing many civilians has gone viral after and every leader and influencer commented and acquaintance solely opinion. by which Russia has decided to ask to retain its soldiers back from Ukraine. In conclusion, the
right
 to speak and cast
option
Fix the agreement mistake
options
show examples
 is important for a democratic nation. It brings light
on
Change preposition
to
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 heinous incidents happening around and which will diversity of
opinions
.
Submitted by jesujwal on

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task achievement
Your essay adequately addresses the topic and provides relevant examples. However, there are areas which need improvement to enhance clarity and structure. For clarity and better task response, ensure your thesis states explicitly your stand on the issue and reiterate it clearly in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Although you presented ideas clearly, the flow between them can be more organized. Linking words and phrases could help to connect your ideas. For example, use phrases like 'In addition,' 'Moreover,' and 'Consequently,' to show the relationship between paragraphs. Improve paragraph transitions for better coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Good use of relevant and timely examples enhances your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion present, though they can be stronger with clearer restatements of your stance.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • freedom of speech
  • democratic societies
  • constitutions
  • diversity of opinions
  • government decisions
  • censorship
  • suppressive
  • dissenting opinions
  • arbitrary
  • detrimental
  • regulation
  • hate speech
  • misinformation
  • social cohesion
  • public safety
  • responsibilities
  • incite
  • discriminate
  • digital media
  • global platforms
  • international cooperation
  • standards
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